Tom Atkins truly did "THRILL ME!"I woke up bright and early, intent on getting some grub and hitting up an early screening of "Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives." However, after getting showered up, grabbing cash and my business cards, and then hitting the restaurant downstairs for some breakfast, I totally missed out on that particular film (though I did get to see Malcolm MacDowell and several "My Bloody Valentine" guests chowing down nearby).
After Tara and I had our fill of the delicious breakfast buffet, we wandered off to find Dan and Bill from Radiation-Scarred Reviews. Since they ran back up to their room after breakfast, Tara and I decided to wander into the main Ballroom and take in the final twenty-five minutes of "Silver Bullet," which was part of a tribute to the late Corey Haim.
After watching Gary Busey get tossed around by a lycanthrope that is shot in the eye with a silver bullet by cripped Corey, we finally managed to meet up with the "R-SR guys" and take in a few movies up on the mezzanine level of the hotel. Movie number one was the awesomely fun "House" starring William Katt. Surprisingly my two fellow internet movie scribes had never seen this movie, so it was a treat to watch their reactions to the supernatural shenanigans of this beloved cult classic.
This was quickly followed up with a screening of "Night of the Creeps" which surprisingly had the original "alternate" ending where Tom Atkins' crispy corpse unleashes some brain slugs into a cemetery. (Sorry if I ruined that for anyone.) Once again, I was shocked to discover that Dan had never seen "Night of the Creeps," and I was happy to be present for his moment of "Thrill Me" cherry-popping!
After "Creeps" ended, our foursome took a break and parted ways for a half hour, then rejoined our forces to take in another screening of Jay Woelfel's "Closed for the Season." I was more than happy to see that this screening was packed with people, and a lot of them stayed put this time. Even better, there were no issues with the film this time, so the show kicked off on time.
The movie was still the two-hour cut we saw the previous night, but this time the picture and audio quality were far superior. (Gone were the "too dark" night shots that were a bit confusing during the film's initial screening.) The film still has a ways to go before it is ready for the general public, (I'm thinking a twenty minute chunk should be cut out... though that would be hard to do since there are scenes that are referenced and re-referenced throughout the film.) but the second screening was far more fulfilling and understandable.
After the movie ended, they did a quick Q&A session and revealed that there were some neat scenes that didn't make it into the current cut (and may not be in the final cut) of the movie, and shed a little light on the strange plot of this mind-boggling independent feature. After all was said and done, Bill, Dan, Tara, and I chatted it up with Jay, and got a few pics with the infamous director of "Trancers 6."
Jay Woelfel photo-op after the screening of "Closed for the Season."With nothing better to do, Tara and I grabbed some seats in the main screening room and caught "Return of the Living Dead." I haven't seen it in years, and truly fell in love with this parody of zombie flicks all over again. After the film ended, we went downstairs and waited outside of the main ballroom to see Charles Band's Full Moon Road Show!
Gary Busey suddenly showed up in his PJs (no ice cream this time) to investigate the area and inquired about what's going on. (Or most likely inquired if that "bastard" Charlie Band was in the room at the moment! Hahahaha.) I said hello to "crazy Busey" as he walked by and got a genial "Hey!" from everyone's favorite mad-man.
Not too soon after Gary's departure, Charles Band arrived and filmed everyone standing in line, then vanished back into the ballroom where Dario Argento's Q&A was coming to a close. Ten minutes later, Tara and I got into the (already nearly full) ballroom and managed to save to chairs for Dan and Bill, who were about a mile back in the line.
Once we were seated, we discovered that things were starting to run behind, and sadly Charles Band had to greatly shorten his usually two-hour long show. You could try and blame Dario Argento but really it was because it took the event coordinators A FULL HALF HOUR TO SEAT EVERYONE AND PACK THE ROOM DANGEROUSLY BEYOND CAPACITY! But you know what? It was all freakin' worth it for this:
The show kicked off with the awesome promo reel seen above and people were going nuts, especially when the guitar solo from Guns N' Roses "November Rain" kicked in. Once that ended, the lights came up and Charles took the stage and WOWED the audience with humorous anecdotes about his career, which included his major breakthrough with "Ghoulies" and how the advertisements featuring the creature in the toilet stopped an entire generation of children from being potty-trained, and some great stories involving Gary Busey on the set of "Gingerdead Man."
He followed this up with a promo for the upcoming "Puppet Master: Axis of Evil" (available on DVD and Blu-ray March 15th - check out www.fullmoondirect.com for more details!), and then brought BILL MOSELEY up on stage for some fun! (They worked together on a little futuristic cyborg cheapie called "Crash and Burn.") He then auctioned off an authentic "Puppet Master" chest, full of puppets, for $450 and then a custom built electric chair that was onstage for (I believe) $150, then got to the final act of his truncated show.
Charles finished things off with a little "play" up on the stage made up of volunteers from the audience. It would take a while to explain the gist of the play in full detail but essentially a girl in a werewolf costume (Susan) was the villain, sentenced to death in the electric chair for her/its crimes. The hero of the piece was a musclebound dude named Scott who played the werewolf's brother, while the damsel in distress who gets felt up by the "hero" was played by a busty model named Violetta. And oh yeah, there's a naughty nurse (Meelz? Is that really your freakin' name?) up there for good measure.
Charles gives directions to his cast of characters!So the plot goes like this: Werewolf is getting fried, sees brother molesting lesbian lover, breaks its bonds, kills brother, prepares to leap into the audience to go on a murder spree, and can only be calmed down by the bare breasts of its chesty lover. And oh yeah... there's a naughty nurse there too.
As a newcomer to the onstage antics of Charles Band I was surprised to see this little scene play out THREE times (they didn't quite get things right the first two times) with Violetta unleashing her hooters to a cheering audience each time! I was shocked, enthused, and amused by this, and luckily got it on (grainy) video! (Said video will be available to all the Vault's FACEBOOK fans within another day or two, so BECOME A FAN OF THE B-MOVIE FILM VAULT FACEBOOK PAGE if you want to see it!)
After roaring applause, Charles exited stage left, and headed off to sell Full Moon swag (at 50% or more off!), meet fans, and sign EVERYTHING he could. He was a very personable fellow, and took time out to talk to everyone and sign everything, AND he even went as far as to apologize to the lengthy line of eager fans multiple times.
He apologized to me personally once I got up to meet him and I told him "Hey, no worries Charles... you showed us boobs! We're grateful!" I ended up getting the "Trancers: Definite Collection," "Gingerdead Man," "Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust," "Puppet Master Legacy," and "Laserblast" ALL SIGNED, for a mere $45.00! Wow, what a guy! After meeting Charles, Tara and I parted ways with Bill and Dan and hit the hay.
MONSTER MANIA XIV: DAY THREE
The next morning I got an early phone call from Bill, wishing me a safe trip, then prepared to hit the road myself. After a hot shower, I helped Tara take all our stuff out to her car, then headed back inside to scope out the vendors' goods one last time. I ended up getting a screener of "Zombie Hunters: City of the Dead Vol. 1" along with bootlegs of "Alligator II" and "Blood Beach." Afterwards, I double-checked to see if maybe, just maybe I could sneak in and see Gary Busey, but the line was once again too damned long. And so, after some debate, we finally left the Crowne Plaza Hotel in search of food.
And that's pretty much the end of the story folks. While I had originally planned on staying the entire day on Sunday, I realized that I (along with Tara) was completely exhausted. Even though we left earlier than anticipated, it was definitely the best course of action, because driving back through Philly is a bitch and a half, especially if you try to do it during rush hour. And somehow, we managed to miss all the tollbooths from Philly to Scranton. As a result, we had to pay a whopping $29.30 to pass into Scranton at the final tollbooth. (F*CK-ING BULLSHIT!)
Once at Tara's, we told our stories to her folks, showed off our swag and pictures, then settled down and watched "Gingerdead Man 1 & 2" before calling it an early night. Now I'm home, and unfortunately have to get ready for work. It's been a crazy couple of days, and I look forward to regaling everyone at the workplace with tales of Gary Busey's insanity, of memorabilia I obtained, and of the kindly stars that I got to meet and greet for twenty bucks an autograph!
Do I have regrets? Well yeah: I missed all the Q&A panels and didn't meet everyone I wanted to, but you know what? There's always next year! (Or this Summer if I can pull together another $800.00 by August 22nd!) I gotta run b-movie fans, so have a great day! I hoped you enjoyed my coverage of Monster Mania XIV, and really hope that I have in some way convinced you to attend one of these conventions! It's expensive, and can be a total pain in the ass, but in the end, its definitely worth it!
Stay tuned for some Monster Mania related movie reviews and be sure to check out my buddy Bill's Monster Mania coverage over at his blog!
Blog ya later b-movie fans!
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