90 minutes / Color / Rated R
The Culprit(s): An extremely ill-tempered and constantly hungry alligator named "Ramone," that became gigantic after devouring dead lab animals that were pumped full of various drugs, chemicals, steroids, and hormones. (Ramone is clearly the Alex Rodriguez of killer animal film stars.)
The Plot: A young girl's pet alligator (named Ramone!) gets flushed down the toilet by her asshole father, and is left to survive on its own in the harsh, shit-filled sewers of Chicago. Luckily for the little critter, an up-and-coming mad scientist has been dumping dead lab animals into a nearby section of the sewer, thus providing chemical and hormone-filled meals for the growing reptile. Roughly twelve years later, the tiny pup of a gator has turned into a 36-foot, 1-ton monstrosity with an unquenchable hunger for human flesh! (Whoops!) Once the discovery of human limbs at the sewer treatment plant becomes the norm, homicide detective David Madison (Robert Forster) takes the case and discovers good ole Ramone down in the sewers. At first David is met with a lot of skepticism, but after a missing reporter's camera is found in the water of the sewage treatment plant, the balding detective finally has proof that something big is in the sewers of Chicago and eating people. (Had this been New York, they probably would have listed the deaths and disappearances as C.H.U.D. related incidents.)
Eventually Ramone the alligator leaves his dark domain after the entire Chicago police force enters the sewers and tries to flush him out. He immediately goes on an incredible eating binge and devours several unlucky cops, an insane big-game hunter named Colonel Brock (Henry Silva!), the people responsible for Ramone's freakish mutation, guests and hired help at a wedding, and one poor youngster that had the misfortune of being forced to play "pirate" with two older asshole kids. Ramone eventually tires of being chased around and heads back to his underground lair, where he is blown up by Detective Madison. But all is not lost, because unbeknownst to Madison and his hot herpetologist sidekick Marisa Kendall, someone else in Chicago has just flushed a baby alligator down the toilet. Uh oh.... I smell human feces..... and a sequel!Why it made the list: This is yet another film that is unjustly brushed off as a rip-off of "JAWS" (starting to see a pattern here?) and unlike many of the other films I've discussed thus far in this countdown, this one is pretty much a straight-up monster movie. This film is not trying to make a statement (aside from "don't flush baby alligators down the toilet" and "testing chemicals and shit on puppies is bad"), it's just a fun romp with a fig-bucking alligator in the sewers of Chicago.
"Alligator" is approached with a tongue-in-cheek attitude and provides a pretty good story that is driven by a talented cast. The only really weak portion of the story is the underdeveloped subplot that involves an evil millionaire named Slade who has an equally evil (future) son-in-law named Arthur Helms, who is mainly responsible for Ramone's monstrous mutation. However, this loose end is taken care of when a certain 'gator with a bad attitude arrives uninvited at Arthur's wedding and begins dining on the guests.
While he doesn't get nearly enough screen-time, Ramone is the film's real star, and is portrayed by both a real alligator, that enjoys strolling through miniature sets at night, and a large rubbery mechanical gator that isn't totally convincing, especially when seen in broad daylight. Still, it is a testament of how special effects were (and should be) done, and helps add to film's overall fun factor. Combined with a likeable cast of characters (e.g. Detective Madison with his humorous insecurity about his receding hair line), a simplistic but appropriate score (that somewhat apes the "JAWS" theme) by Craig Hundley (whose career as a composer pretty much ended in 1987), and a generous helping of devourings and dismemberments make this one of the most respected films of its kind.Why YOU should watch it: Well if seeing a film that has a giant, mutant, man-eating alligator isn't enough to get your goat, then I really don't know what to tell you. Ramone the alligator is the main draw of the film and his carnivorous exploits are still pretty impressive by today's standards, especially considering that bad killer croc and gator films are a dime-a-dozen these days. Also, you get to see one of the most shocking child deaths ever filmed, when two kids force a friend to "walk the plank" in the inground pool behind their house, with some disastrous consequences.
First of all, where the f*ck were mom and dad when the two obvious bullies blindfolded their younger counterpart and led him outside at (plastic) sword point to his ultimate demise?! Sure Ramone ate the kid, but he was merely acting on instinct; the real villain in this scenario is the air-headed mom that turns on the pool lights just in time for little "Billy" to see the maw of pointy teeth below the surface of the water. Even if there wasn't a giant alligator in the pool, the poor kid probably would have drowned!
There's also a few other notable moments that make this a memorable entry in the nature run amok sub-genre. Watch in amusement as Ramone bludgeons his way through a city street and chases after a group of kids who were playing stickball, engages in a naval battle with some idiotic cops armed with automatic rifles and grenades, crashes the wedding of his inadvertent creator, and crushes a limo, plus the old man inside of it, with his mighty tail of rubber!
Is it worthy of a remake? Well, it'll be hard to truly do this film justice, and with the recent glut of low-budget and terrible killer crocodile and alligator films, I think that now is not the right time to even consider a remake of this classic film. (However, I have to note that "Rogue," which was released under Dimension's EXTREME DVD label, is actually pretty damn good.) For now, I think that "Alligator" should be left alone and enjoy its spot as, quite possibly, the greatest film ever made about a giant man-eating reptile. Seriously, I think that this movie is so good, that even its shitty sequel, "Alligator II: The Mutation," can't hurt its "sterling" reputation.
"Hoof" it back here soon to find out what film boasts the number two spot on my continued countdown of my favorite killer animal flicks!
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