VICTORY IS MINE!

Finally! I have defeated the offending Virtumonde (a.k.a. Vundo) virus. All it took in the end was the removal of my old Java software, the installation of the latest Java software, and a thorough sweep of my hard drive with Spyware Doctor. Now that I can work without my computer lagging and without a dozen pop ups continuing to pop up every few seconds, I am ready to get back to work on the Vault!

But first... I am going to go see "The Spirit" with some of my friends. Though it has gotten panned by critics fairly extensively, I am still game to see this flick. I mean, c'mon, how bad can it be? It has to better than "Twilight" right? ..... it has to be.....

Anyway, Happy New Year b-movie fans! Stay tuned for some updates to the site!

Merry Belated Christmas; sorry for lack of updates.

First off, MERRY CHRISTMAS (only a few days late, but it's the thought that counts)!

Secondly, I have been battling a pesky virus (Virtumonde and some of its kin to be exact) since Monday and despite my best efforts, the bastard is still running rampant on my computer. Thankfully, due to the use of two anti-virus programs and multiple spyware and malware removers, I have got this b*tch on the ropes, but I still can't seem to fully wipe it out. It's like Darkman: You think you kill him, then he pops up somewhere else! ARGH!!!

This battle has been going on for days, and I'm running out of programs to utilize. Currently, this digital pest is only being annoying and throwing pop ups around on the screen, and hopefully, I'll have it copmletely vanquished soon, so that I can once again enjoy surfing the web and working on the Vault.

Wish me luck, pray for some new updates to the site, and have a wonderful New Year!

New "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" TV Spot. This movie is gonna ROCK!

I am a fan of the original 1981 "My Bloody Valentine" (read my review of it here) and I was stoked when I heard of the remake. I've been following the news on it and here's what I've been hearing: The movie is gory as hell, fun as hell, and really pushes its R-rating! On top of that, the original 1981 classic is coming out UNCUT on DVD courtesy of Lionsgate (here's a sincere "f*ck you" to Paramount for chopping up this oft-forgotten slasher classic nearly three decades ago), so I am totally freakin' excited for mid-January.

Then I saw the new TV Spot and I lost all control! Check it out for yourself and tell me that this movie does not look like its going to be a blast. I dare you!



"My Bloody Valentine 3-D" hits theaters on January 16th (mainly because the powerhouse that is "Friday the 13th" comes out next February and would most surely crush this fellow slasher remake); the Special Edition DVD of the original hits stores January 13th. I can't wait!

"The Bum" reviews "The Day the Earth Stood Still."

I'm really loving this stuff; I particularly enjoy how this guy slams the movie while seeming to be so enthusiastically smitten with it. It's pure gold. Oh and keep an eye out for a bunch of nods to "Bill and Ted."

I am closer to posting the December Genre Watch (which is really really late I know). Expect to see it at the Vault this weekend.

Oh and in case you weren't counting down the days: 7 shopping days left to Christmas Armageddon!

Chester A. Bum reviews "Twilight."

Hilarious stuff from ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com:


Visit the site and be sure to check out all the other stuff, especially the "Nostalgia Critic" (I remember it, so you don't have to.). Also swing by Cinemassacre.com and check out all the cool videos there, in particular, the Angry Video Game Nerd series. Good stuff!

New Genre Watch coming soon!

Just wanted to pop in and announce that the December issue of Genre Watch is on its way. A little late I know, but that couldn't be helped; I've been preoccupied with decorating, buying gifts, and all the usual junk that occurs around this time of year (plus I just picked up "Fallout 3" the other day and have pumped a good seven or eight hours into it). But fear not, for I have plenty of new content in the works and will work hard to get it posted on the site before Christmas.

Look for the December issue of the BMFV Genre Watch later this week.

And just a reminder: There are only SEVEN shopping days left until Christmas. If you haven't started yet, you may want to. For your own safety, may I suggest shopping online? Avoid the lines, arguments, and fistfights by shopping at online merchants like AMAZON.COM (cough, cough)!

Good luck with your holiday preparations b-movie fans. I'll blog ya later!

New capsule review for "Twilight" (2008) is up at the Vault!

Yeah yeah, I saw this freakin' movie, so sue me. My girlfriend dragged me to the theater (quite literally) and I had very low expectations. That is probably why I didn't completely hate (or love) "Twilight." The film has a few glaring problems (as does the source material which claims that vampires are not destroyed by sunlight, but merely become glittery fairies when hit with direct UV rays), but overall it's watchable and not too awful. I'd say it's pretty much for teenage girls and fans of the books (who are primarily, GASP!, teenage girls). Check out my review HERE.

I have a lot more stuff in the works for the site and I plan on jamming this month with a lot of updates. I'm hoping to complete three more reviews, my December Genre Watch article, and an all new section for the Vault. Keep an eye out for all of that over the next few weeks.

Oh and there's less than three weeks left to get your Christmas shopping done, so get to it b-movie fans!

New stuff coming soon.

Just a quick update before my girlfriend kicks me off of her computer. I have watched and taken notes on "Godmonster of Indian Flats." All I have to say is Wow...... just.... wow. I've seen some bad movies, but few are as unique as this obscurity. And the extras on the disc are just as weird as the feature film and seem really out of place. I guess Something Weird Video really likes to live up to their name.

In any case, I'll be working on a review for "Godmonster" this week, along with a capsule review for "The Ghouligans! Super Show." I've also begun work on a new section to the Vault (the WANTED ON DVD page) and I'm also in the process of getting the December edition of Genre Watch ready to go.

Well I've gotta go b-movie fans. Have a good "Cyber Monday;" lord knows it is safer to shop online than at Wal-Mart. (Especially on Black Friday.... the darkest day of horror the world has ever known.)

Blog ya later!

Issue #1 of The B-Movie Film Vault GENRE WATCH is online!

After weeks of tweaking code, painstakingly pouring through websites to get all the necessary info I needed, and putting it all into an easy to digest format, I am happy to present the first issue of The B-Movie Film Vault's GENRE WATCH! I'd tell you more about it, but I'm pretty darned tired and I think this new section of the Vault will speak for itself. Head on over and see what DVD, Blu-ray, and theatrical releases all of us cult and b-movie fans have to look forward to this month and feel free to leave a comment. Any feedback concerning the Genre Watch blog would be greatly appreciated.

Well g'night b-movie fans; I'll blog ya later!

Where in the world is the Vault Master?

Currently sitting at home, about to get ready for work, and I'm still feeling pretty crappy. I've been hit by the flu and it is a powerful opponent. (I'd rank it well above the common cold and just below a full-blown case of "Captain Tripps.") In between painful coughing fits and frequent worshipping of the "porcelain god," I've been tinkering with the first issue of "Genre Watch" all week and I believe I'm about ready to put the remaining three-quarters of the article together and get it posted.

Once that's completed, I'm going to attempt to get some new reviews up on the site. In particular, I want to review a real "turkey" of a film for Thanksgiving, and thanks to visitors to the Vault, it looks like "Godmonster of Indian Flats" is the film of choice.

In any case, I gotta run. Stay tuned for some new stuff very soon b-movie fans!

Still recovering from Halloween weekend.

I'm still pretty tired from this past weekend. I didn't party hard, but I ate stuff that in great quantities, could probably kill lesser men. So much candy, and pizza, and wings, and cider, and hot cocoa, and soda, and Doritos, and... well, you get the idea.

I was going to do a bit o' writing last night but was way too tired, so I'm hoping that after work tonight, I'll be ready to sit down and get back to finishing up all the stuff I wanted to post in time for Halloween. (Which amounts to quite a bit actually, what with two capsule reviews, one full-length roundtable review, an article, and the premiere of Genre Watch all sitting there... STARING AT ME!)

So stay tuned for more updates b-movie fans; I'll blog ya later!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

WOOHOO! All Hallow's Eve is upon us; I'm about to head out to Kutztown to pick up my best friend and then we're headed to a Halloween party later this evening. I hope you all have a fun, happy, and safe Halloween. But before you go out and have a good time, be sure to watch the following commercial from my sponsors as Silver Shamrock Masks Inc. And be sure to wear your official skeleton, witch, or pumpkin mask while you watch this commercial for an EXTRA special surprise.



And here is an apparently horror film that we may never ever see on the big screen (what's the big deal Warner Bros?!). Enjoy the trailer for "Trick R' Treat!"



I have some stuff in the works for the Vault and should have some of it up tomorrow night. I was hoping to get it all posted for Halloween but my time was spent on other projects (Guitar Hero World Tour cough cough). So have a great night all you vamps and ghouls and I'll see you back at the Vault soon!

Evil Dead II.... Mentos Commercial

I didn't post anything Halloween-oriented yesterday, so here's the consolation prize: A short Mentos commercial parody made with footage from "Evil Dead II!"



I started cleaning up the house for my eminent (post) Halloween party and my god.... I lived in this filth for the last few weeks? My DVD collection had an inch of dust on it and that is inexcusable! In any case, I should have this place whipped into shape in another day or two, then I've gotta get some junk food and beverages for my guests on Sunday. This task will be a little hard to accomplish as I have Guitar Hero World Tour and the new MST3K boxed set arriving via UPS tomorrow, but I shall persevere and be 100% ready to watch some horror flicks and chow down on some copious amounts of chips, candy, pizza, wings, and whatever else I can get my hands on.

There's only a few more days left until Halloween, so you best be ready b-movie fans! Blog ya later!

The Life and Death of a Pumpkin plus other Halloween-oriented Youtube vids.

From the guys who came up with CHAD VADER comes this very odd and somewhat creepy tale of a pumpkin's sad and short lifespan.



Weird stuff eh? And here's a little clip from National Geographic explaining the origins of our favorite holiday:



Though I am against having Christmas-ish lights for Halloween, I have to admit that this is cool:



Well that's enough stuff for tonight. I need to get some shuteye because..... TOMORROW NIGHT IS MONDO MOVIE NIGHT AND THEY'RE SHOWING "DEEP RED" ON THE BIG SCREEN! WOOOOOHOOOOO! And yes, I will be writing up an article about that at the Vault... just in case you were wondering. Interested in going to the show? Tickets are $6.00; showtime is at 10 PM on Saturday, October 25th at the Endless Mountains Theatre, located on the Scranton-Carbondale Highway in Scranton, PA! Hope to see you there! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

Halloween Horror Mega Mix!

The Halloween hijinks continue with this very cool Halloween MegaMix I found on Youtube. Many of the classics are represented here, and the editing is pretty damn good. It's seven minutes long, but kept my interest throughout, so those of you with ADD should be able to sit through it. ;-)



Only a week left until Halloween! I just ordered my costume (a bit pricy... but that's because I had the shipping expedited so I would get it in time) and hope that the damn thing fits. I can't wait to put it on and shock my friends (and coworkers). What exactly is my costume? Well... unfortunately I cannot say (some of my friends actually do swing by here apparently) but here is a hint:



Yeah... that's pretty much a dead giveaway but I still won't SAY what the actual costume is. ;-)

Here's what Halloween means to Stephen Lynch.

Stephen Lynch is certainly not for all tastes, but I think the man is a comedic (and musical) genius. Here is a twisted little number by Stephen about All Hallow's Eve.



Woohoo eight more days... damn, I really need to get ready for my party and get a costume while I'm at it. Got any suggestions for the latter folks? Because this video didn't really help me out all that much:

Halloween Theme Song

HAHAHAHAHA! I've seen the Jaws Theme Song these guys did and it is hilarious. But this is just as good, if not better.



Why are so many people wasting their obvious talent on Youtube when they can be putting their skills to work, saving sketch comedy shows like MAD TV or Saturday Night Live (both of which, in my opinion, have gone down the toilet in recent years)? I guess we'll never know.... in any case enjoy this vid.

OH, and just in case you weren't counting down the days to Halloween....only ten days to go! Woohoo!

Happy Halloween from CHAD, MATT & ROB!

I was scouring Youtube for some fun stuff to watch the other night and accidentally discovered the manic comedic brilliance of Chad, Matt, and Rob. These three guys are hilarious and have made some very cool videos. (Visit their Youtube Channel Page HERE.) Please enjoy their Halloween "episode" and make sure to check out the rest of their videos afterwards.



You just gotta love the "Headless Horseman" gag at the 53-second mark!

The Vault Master shall "Fear No Evil!"

Well I've survived round one of "Torture the Vault Master" and have posted a rather lengthy review (with screencaps!) for FEAR NO EVIL. This movie turned out to be a cakewalk and wasn't nearly as bad as I had previously recalled. However, that doesn't mean that it is a good film by any stretch. There's plenty of homosexual undertones in this bad boy, but they are easy to ignore because there is so much weirdness going on in this movie.

We get one bloody baptism, one death by dodgeball scene, a dude who magically grows breasts, an effeminate transvestite Antichrist, a small horde of zombies, heavenly animated death rays, and an awesome 80's soundtrack! So head on over and read my review and stay tuned for more updates at the Vault!

Oh and just in case you weren't paying attention.... 11 more days until Halloween! WOOHOO!

Update on "Fear No Evil" review + other Vault related updates.

Well now I've gone and done it... I've come down with the flu. SO, that means I'll be staying home today and tomorrow, which means that I have time to work on the Vault. Here is what I currently have in the works:

UPDATE: October 20th, 2008 @ 11:30PM Eastern Standard Time.....
I am now approximately 99% done with my review for "Fear No Evil." This bad boy will have screencaps, plus the "Fear No Evil" theme song available for download! I just have to finish up the DVD review and EXTRAS portions of the review, spellcheck & proofread it all, then get it uploaded. I'm very excited about this, and hope all of you readers will enjoy it. Stay tuned for the new review; I'll post about it here as soon as it is up!

I am in the process of upgrading my forum software from YaBB 2.1 to YaBB 2.3. Thus far, things seem to working OK with the latest version of my forum (which has yet to go public) but I'm having some issues. (i.e. Images and graphics not appearing on webpages; mods I installed on version 2.1 don't seem to work on YaBB 2.3) Hopefully I can get all the bugs worked out soon.

I have decided that I will install a Wordpress Blog onto my server, and use that to write up my monthly Genre Watch articles. It seems pretty easy to use and will neatly organize everything for me. Since October is pretty much over with, you can expect the first Genre Watch report to show up in November.

My remaining goals for this month are to do capsule reviews for "The Ghouligans! Super Show" and "Night of the Demons," as well as a full-length review for "Slugs." That line-up is subject to change, but I feel that I can pull it all off within the next two weeks.

So there's the update folks! Stay tuned for the b-movie goodness you love and rejoice for Halloween is less than two weeks away!

"The Dark Knight" coming to DVD and Blu-Ray on December 9th!

WOOHOO! "The Dark Knight" is coming to DVD and Blu-Ray. I'll give you a minute to rejoice before I continue with this post......

Done? Great! Here are the DVD and Blu-Ray specs on this upcoming release, which you can pre-order today from Amazon.com!

The single-disc edition is pretty much bare bones, but the 2-disc has quite a few extras. Here's what you get:

* Gotham Uncovered: How Christopher Nolan and his team developed the new Bat-suit and Bat-pod and composer Hans Zimmer musically characterized the Joker’s reign of chaos.

* The Dark Knight IMAX® Scenes: View these 6 action-packed sequences--shot on the largest format possible--in their original IMAX framing, just as they were intended

* Gotham Tonight: 6 episodes of Gotham Cable's premier news program

* The Galleries: Poster art and production stills

* Digital Copy of the feature film

And besides having better sound and picture, the Blu-Ray disc comes with some great extras not found on the two-disc DVD:

* Movie with Focus Points (picture in picture) BD Live

* Gotham Uncovered: Creation of a Scene: Director Christopher Nolan and creative collaborators unmask the incredible detail and planning behind the film, including stunt staging, filming in IMAX®, and the new Bat-suit and Bat-pod.

* Batman Tech: The incredible gadgets and tools (in HD)

* Batman Unmasked: The Psychology of The Dark Knight: Delve into the psyche of Bruce Wayne and the world of Batman through real-world psychotherapy (in HD)

* Gotham Tonight: 6 episodes of Gotham Cable's premier news program

* The Galleries: The Joker cards, concept art, poster art, production stills, trailers and TV spots

* Digital Copy of the feature film

Needless to say, my copy of this amazing film is pre-ordered. So what are YOU waiting for? Blog ya later b-movie (and Batman) fans!

They Raped Indiana Jones! (Tell us something we don't know.)

I swung by South Park Studios to watch the latest episode of South Park and I have to say, I haven't laughed this much since I saw Trey Parker and Matt Stone's "Major Boobage" episode that parodies "Heavy Metal."

Here is a clip from the episode in which Kyle has a nightmare about the "raping of Indiana Jones." This clip is pretty timid; the next three Indy-rape flashbacks in this episode get a little graphic. (Serves Spielberg and Lucas right for ruining a cherished film franchise with f*cking aliens, wussy Commies, nuke-proof fridges, and CGI vine-swinging hijinks!!!)



You can watch this and every other episode of South Park for free at www.southparkstudios.com! Enjoy!

Amazon.com's Halloween DVD sale!

I'm not sure how long this sale is going on for, but DAMN, I have gotten some amazing friggin' deals over the last two weeks. Click on the image below to go to Halloween deals webpage and select from over 600 different DVD titles!

I have ordered almost two dozen flicks from the list including Dark Sky's amazing two-disc ultimate edition of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (only $7.99 AND it's in a tin case!!!!), the infinifilm release of "Nightare On Elm St.," and many more cult faves! So enjoy the sale horror fans, and don't forget to purchase movies through my (Amazon hosted) DVD Shop, or through any of my Amazon affiliate links! (Comission made from these links will help keep the Vault online for many years to come!)

Stay tuned for a new review within the next few days (FINALLY!), plus several capsule reviews over the coming weeks. And, expect a nice treat at the very end of the month, where I will be giving you (hopefully) two brand new reviews that are part of an all new fright-themed roundtable.

I'll blog ya later b-movie fans!

Torture the Vault Master - ROUND 2!

As of my typing this, I am currently in the early stages of writing my review for "Fear No Evil." I'm going to work hard to get it completed and uploaded sometime this weekend and truthfully, I ended up liking this movie a lot more than I could have imagined. But as the saying goes, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

That is why an all new "Torture the Vault Master" poll is set up in the Vault forums! I've kept two of the more popular choices from the last poll, but overall, this is a whole new list of bad movies for you to choose from. CLICK HERE to begin casting your votes, and seriously, pick something that could cause me considerable pain.

Voting will end at midnight on Halloween night; the review for your bad movie of choice will follow soon after. Happy voting b-movie fans; I'll blog ya later!

Update on "Torture the Vault Master" review.

Well I just sat through "Fear No Evil" to take my notes and.... I enjoyed the movie. Yeah, I know, I'm shocked too. I added it to the "Torture the Vault Master" poll because I hated the movie after my initial viewing so many years ago. But I guess my taste in film has dramatically changed because I liked this Godforsaken film. I'm going to give it another go tomorrow with the commentary turned on; I should start typing up my review on Wednesday, and plan on having it done and posted by this weekend.

UPDATE - 10/05/08: I am currently in the process of writing the review. Had I not been helping my parents with various home improvement / winter readiness projects, you would be reading my "Fear No Evil" review right this very second. (Sometimes sacrifices must be made.) So hopefully, you can expect to see said tardy review pop up at the Vault late Tuesday night. Stay tuned for further updates.

Sorry folks, I thought you really were going to torture me, but instead, you managed to give me an all new outlook on a film I once hated with a passion. Oh well, maybe next time the movie you pick will cause me some major pain. G'night b-movie fans!

Star Wars Fans... the not so terrible truth.

Earlier this week, my buddy Gary invited me to go to the Ross Park Zoo in Binghamton, NY for their annual "Star Wars Day." The idea of "Star Wars Day" is to have people come dressed in their fan-made costumes and meet and greet visitors to the park. Some of these guys have amazing costumes, and do this event to help bring in more biz for the zoo. Plus, they all happen to love kids and enjoy seeing a tyke's face light up when he gets to meet a stormtrooper, or a jedi, or Darth Vader.

The point of all that exposition is that I went to this event in a negative frame of mind: I was tired, it was rainy and humid, and I would have to put up with geeky Star Wars fanboys for five hours. (No offense meant by the latter comment.) With my expectations so low, I was pleasantly surprised to find that A) the day wouldn't be a total bust despite the bad weather and B) the small number of fans that showed up were really cool and down to Earth. They were not what I expected at all.

These guys and gals all have normal lives and created their costumes as a fun hobby. This isn't a way of life for them, it is just a fun distraction that allows them to share their creativity and love of George Lucas' sci-fi franchise. So please, allow me to apologize to you COOL Star Wars fans for stereotyping you.

In any case, it was a fun day and I managed to get in some training as a "handler" (i.e. a roadie for people in costume at conventions and other events) and I managed to get some decent photos of these SW-Fans in action. CLICK HERE to visit my Photobucket Album and check out the rest of the pics. (Just a side note: My buddy Gary is the Snowtrooper seen above. He was proud to be the only cannon fodder there!)

Of related interest is the website mentioned to me by two of the gents who attended the event at the zoo: www.mandalorianmercs.org. This fan group is comprised of folks whose costumes apparently did not fall within the strict guidelines of other (apparently elitist) fan groups, so they started there own and already have a good many members with some very cool suits of Mandalorian armor.

Well I'm turning in the for the night, so enjoy the pics and have a wonderful night b-movie fans. Blog ya later!

New Capsule Review: Eric Falardeau's "COMING HOME"

With the posting of this review I have managed to kill two birds with one stone: I have finally added a new review to the site and I've finally reviewed my screener copy of Eric Falardeau's "Coming Home." I first experienced Eric's unique brand of film making two years ago, when I was still writing for Rogue Cinema. Years later, his skill has naturally improved, and I find myself quite impressed with his latest short film, "Coming Home," which is essentially a mystery/revenge flick with a fairly gory outcome. Be sure to read my review for this extremely well-made indie short by clicking HERE. For more info about Eric and all of his films, visit the Out Of Nowhere Productions Myspace Page.

I have this Monday off and plan on spending a good chunk of it in front of the computer, so don't be too shocked if you see more new stuff on the site early next week. Blog ya later b-movie fans!

Looking to kill some time? Try out "Warlords: Call to Arms."

While surfing around Newgrounds.com one afternoon, I came across a little flash game called "Warlords: Call to Arms." It is a ridiculously simple and addicting game, though towards the end, it can be quite challenging (i.e. frustrating). I have yet to actually conquer all 25 lands on the map (the best I've done thus far was 22...), but I haven't given up on that quest yet.
To play the "full version" of the game (which allows you to pick from three races that are not available on the Newgrounds version), CLICK HERE. Enjoy!

I'm still here AND I have a plan!

Hello all! Just wanted to check in with a blog post and let you all know that I'm still around, though I have yet to actually add anything new to the Vault. For any of you wondering if I've given up, the answer is no. I have renewed the domain name for two more years, and have in fact been trying to come up with some new ideas for the site. Here's what I got so far:

• A monthly "GENRE WATCH" column that will allow visitors to keep up to date on all the cult and b-films that are being released on DVD and Blu-Ray. THE B-MOVIE FILM VAULT GENRE WATCH will also highlight theatrical releases that would suit fans of cult cinema like myself. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet and I'm not sure if I will (or how I should) archive each month's Genre Watch. I can create a webpage from scratch and update it monthly, or do a monthly post here on the Blog, or even create a section in my Forum. The latter seems to be the best route, but I'll explore all three avenues before making a final decision.

• A WANTED ON DVD page. Brian from Eccentric Cinema has one, but it is lacking quite a bit in my opinion. There are dozens of movies out there that have yet to make a digital debut, and with my upcoming Wanted List, I hope to shed some light on many oft-forgotten or unknown films that remain shackled to their VHS prisons.

• I plan on making my recent "TORTURE THE VAULT MASTER" poll a monthly thing. Right now though I have to get up the courage to watch "Fear No Evil," then write about that wretched flick.

• I'm going to attempt to accept screeners for reviewing purposes once again. I already have three films that I have to get reviewed, but once they are taken care of, I'm thinking of actively accepting/pursuing screeners from indie film makers and cult DVD companies like Blue Underground and Anchor Bay.
  

As you can see, I've got plenty of ideas. The trouble is finding enough free time to implement them. I'm hoping to take a day or two in the near future and get the ball rolling on some or all of these projects. I am only one man, and life unfortunately gets in the way a lot. Plus it does not help that I have gotten lots of new movies (DVD and Blu-Ray!) and video games. (All your base is belong to Spore!) So hang in there b-movie fans and check back again soon. If all goes well, you could expect to see some new stuff by next Tuesday. Catch ya later!

The "Torture the Vault Master" poll results are in!

ARGH! The combined results are in for the first ever "Torture the Vault Master" poll and it appears that I'll be suffering through the homo-erotic horror that is "Fear No Evil." I've watched this turkey once before and was a bit put off by this story of a young teen that finds out that A) he is the antichrist and B) likes to kiss boys in the shower. Blech!

For those who were curious, here are the exact number of votes that each film received:
The Alien Dead - 1 vote
Blood Tide - 3 votes
The Demon - 1 vote
Fear No Evil - 6 votes
House of the Dead - 3 votes
Monster Shark - 5 votes
Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys - 4 votes
Raptor - 1 vote
Ultracop 2000 - 1 vote

While I'm not exactly thrilled to reviewing "Fear No Evil," I figure I got off lucky considering how bad some of the other films listed above are. And although a mere 25 votes were cast (within a month's time mind you), I'm thinking of making "Torture the Vault Master" a permanent fixture at the Vault. I've also been brainstorming on some new ideas for the site and hope to implement them before September is through. Mum's the word for now, but I assure you that the new sections I'm planning will really help put the Vault on the map.

So stay tuned for some new updates b-movie fans and, as always, be sure to "Keep fighting the good fight for fellow b-movie lovers everywhere!"

Fear not for I still live and breath!

Hey everyone! Just wanted to check in quick and let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking. I've spent thousands of dollars on upgrading my entertainment center, got a ton of new video games, and have just been busy as hell at work and at home, so I haven't had much time on my hands to update the Vault (or post in the Blog or Forum). I'll fill all of you in on the details of my disappearance later tonight, but for now, I must get to work. Blog ya later b-movie fans!

The Vault Master is now a quarter-of-a-century old!

Yes, you read that right folks: I am now 25 years old! My birthday isn't really a big deal to me, but it seems like everyone else I know thinks otherwise. Thanks to everyone who offered me birthday greetings today; thanks to my best bud who will be throwing me a birthday party this weekend; thanks to my coworkers for chipping in to get me a peanut butter cup cheesecake for my b-day (and thanks for the card Carli!); and a big thanks to my folks and my girlfriend who show continued love and support for this obsessive cult movie fanatic.

Well, I'm going to go watch a movie and enjoy the last bit of my birthday, so have a great night fellow b-movie fans and stay tuned for some new review-age on the site!

I have discovered the "Black and White Ecstasy" of ZEBRAMAN!

Taskshi Miike is best known for the shockers he's made, such as "Ichi the Killer" and "Audition," but would have thought that this man had a lighter, more family-friend side? "Zebraman" is proof that Miike can branch out from doing horrifically violent films, and is one of the better superhero comedies I've come across.

Mild mannered Shinichi Ichikawa is never taken seriously by anyone. Then, one fateful night, while running around his neighborhood in a homemade Zebraman costume (styled after his favorite tokusatsu hero), he engages in battle with a rapist wearing a crab-mask. After utilizing some amazing acrobatic moves and delivering a face-crushing blow to the perpetrator, Shinichi runs off and soon embraces his destiny of becoming the REAL Zebraman!

This was a very fun film, and I can't help but recommend it. Check out my capsule review for "Zebraman" HERE, and feel free to post your thoughts about the film and/or review HERE.

Stay tuned for an updated review from the OLD Vault archives, plus a roundtable review for 1981's "The Burning." Oh, and don't forget to cast your vote for what bad movie I should review in the "TORTURE THE VAULT MASTER" poll! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

Torture the Vault Master + upcoming reviews.

Hey b-movie fans! Have you ever wanted to inflict a bad movie on a b-movie webmaster? Well here is your chance! I have selected NINE bad movies and have posted a poll here on the blog (top right corner of the page) and one HERE in the Forum. All you need to do is vote for what film I should review, or films if, God help me, there is a tie between one or more titles. Voting is open to the public and will continue all through the month of August, so cast your votes now!

Also, stay tuned for a capsule review for Takashi Miike's wonderfully bizarre superhero film, "Zebraman!" I have everything ready to go for the update, I just need to sit down and write the review. Expect that to pop up on the site later this weekend.

And also expect a new full-length review in two weeks for the lost 80's slasher classic, "The Burning," which will be part of the "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" roundtable. This mini-roundtable event will appear online between August 15th - 17th, so keep an eye out for that!

That's it for now b-movie fans, so enjoy the rest of your weekend and keep fighting the good fight!

Legend of Dinosaurs review is a go!

After months of starting and stopping, I have finally completed my full-length review of "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds!" This extremely strange kaiju film features an odd disco / funk / jazz soundtrack, inventive cinematography, and some of the most violent dinosaur-to-human violence I have ever seen in a 70's film. This film isn't particularly popular or well-liked, so naturally I enjoyed it. If you get the chance, check this cinematic "gem" out and give it the love it so richly deserves.

Then, after you do that, go see "The Dark Knight" in theaters! This movie is simply amazing and is worthy of repeat viewings. As it stands, it seems like the world at large has deemed this superhero film as one of the best movies ever made! So go see "The Dark Knight" everyone, and help it oust "Titanic" as the top grossing film of all time! Blog ya later!

"Legend of Dinosaurs" review coming soon!

No really, why are you shaking your head in disbelief? A new review IS almost here for "Legend of the Dinosaurs and Monster Birds!" I only have to finish off two sections of the review and it is ready to go. Though my Sunday is booked, I should find a few free hours to polish this review off and get it posted. Expect this long delayed uber-review to hit the site within the next 48 hours.

Also, I've updated my review for "The Monster Squad" with a bit of info concerning the DVD release (particularly the cover art), plus I've added a few mp3's in the EXTRAS section for your listening pleasure. If you've always wanted an mp3 of "Rock Until You Drop" and/or "The Monster Squad Rap," then this is your lucky day!

G'night b-movie fans!

P.S. - GO SEE "HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY!" It is an amazing film with tons of imagination, action, romance, and comedy! This flick will definitely rule the box office for the next five days, but I have a feeling that "The Dark Knight" is going to easily oust it next week without breaking a sweat. Until Batman arrives on the scene to kick the Joker's ass, it definitely won't hurt you to explore the mythical (and mystical) world of Guillermo del Toro's latest hit film!

Updated Review at the Vault: UNCLE SAM (1997)... wants YOU dead!

Just in time for the 4th of July, UNCLE SAM (1997) makes its triumphant return to the B-Movie Film Vault review archives. This updated review is a bit meatier and even has an mp3 download (found at the bottom of the page in the EXTRAS section). For those of you who haven't seen this flick (count yourselves lucky), Sgt. Sam Harper was killed during "Operation Desert Storm" by friendly fire. When his body is returned to his hometown, Sam returns from the dead, dons an Uncle Sam costume, and goes around town murdering unpatriotic folks. Eventually South Park's Chef (Isaac Hayes) ends Sam's killing spree with a cannon!

Have a happy and safe 4th of July b-movie fans! Enjoy the holiday weekend, and stay tuned for that pesky "Legend of Dinosaurs" review in another week or two.

New article at the Vault - MONDO MOVIE NIGHT RETURNS!

Well I got the whole site updated tonight, plus I posted a new article entitled MONDO MOVIE NIGHT RETURNS! The "MMN" Post-Apocalyptic Bash was a blast and everyone that attended had a great time riffing on "Warrior of the Lost World." This film has to be one of the worst Italian "P-A" flicks of all time and I don't think any of us shed a tear when we discovered that the 35mm print of the film was missing some footage.

Well, I'm going to be making an effort to finally post that dangblasted "Legend of Dinosaurs..." review that I've been putting off for the last few months. Heck, if I feel good tomorrow and have a few spare hours, maybe I'll just polish that off and post it on the site.

Well that's it gang. I'm going to get some shuteye. Enjoy the article (as well as the latest capsule review I posted mere days ago) and keep on rockin' the b-world!

The Vault Master headbangs to "Rocktober Blood" + other new updates are forthcoming!

Though extraordinarily late I have posted a new capsule review at the Vault for ROCKTOBER BLOOD. (CLICK HERE to read my fellow b-movie webmasters' contributions to the "B-Movies That Rock" roundtable!) This 80's horror flick features the bare essentials of slasher cinema, namely boobs, blood, and rock n' roll! And had it not been for the latter, this film would just be another low budget slasher film that would all but be forgotten.

Also coming soon to the Vault is an article about my attendance of MONDO MOVIE NIGHT'S POST-APOCALYPTIC BASH, where me, my girlfriend Tara, and two of my best buds sat in a theater and heckled "Warrior of the Lost World." It was a very fun night and I can't tell you how good it is to know that Mondo Movie Night is not dead. There are a few more goodies that will be popping up at the Vault over the next few weeks, so stay tuned b-movie fans!

P.S. - Is anyone else shocked that John Carl Buechler is making a remake of "TROLL?" I read a story about this over at Chud.com earlier this week and it shocked the bejesus out of me. I wonder if that means that Claudio Fragasso and Joe D'Amato are gonna team up to remake "Troll 2" in the near future.... hmm... isn't that one of the sign's of the apocalypse?

The Vault turns eight years old!

As of 12:00 AM EST, the B-Movie Film Vault turned EIGHT YEARS OLD! I started the site back in late May of 2000, on a free Geocities account. Originally called "J-Dawg's Sci-Fi and Horror Movie Review Website" the site soon grew, got a name change, and evolved at an incredible rate into what you see now. Though my review archives are considerably smaller than before, the site is looking a helluva lot better, and the number of visitors is growing slowly but surely each month.

Many thanks to my b-movie brethren, Andrew Borntreger (www.badmovies.org) and Shadow (www.bmoviegraveyard.com). Andrew has nurtured my site, and has gone as far as adopting it as the "bastard child of Badmovies.Org," and Shadow is responsible for finding a permanent home for the Vault online. Thanks guys, and thanks to all of you who continue to visit the site! Here's to another glorious year online!

Watch "The Last Shark" for free on Google Video!

"The Last Shark" was a huge rip-off of Universal's "Jaws," and suffered the consequences of being "too derivative" by being legally banned from U.S. theaters, mere days after its theatrical release. The movie has yet to see a legit DVD release here in the States, so for those of you who are curious about this troubled film, you can watch it in its entirety at Google Video! Just click on the link below to enjoy the film!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH "THE LAST SHARK!"

And here's the original theatrical trailer:

Cinemageddon is a cult movie fan's heaven!

For those of you that scour various bittorrent sites on the web, here is a site that is a real treat: www.cinemageddon.org! There are THOUSANDS of awesome cult titles here (many of them rare, hard to find, and obscure!) to download, and I myself have already gotten quite a few "lost classics" that I've been wanting to see.

There are two very slight drawbacks to utilizing this site: 1) You must register to become a member. Not really a big deal, but some of you out there will be annoyed by this because you want to start downloading ASAP. 2) Make sure you seed just as much (or more than) you download. I'm currently on the "Defective" list because I've been doing far more downloading than uploading. I was warned that if I continue on my wayward path, I will be banned from the site. (A little harsh, dontcha think? Bastards......) I'm not too worried because I will gladly seed some torrents in order to retain my privilege to download a large variety of films that I cannot find elsewhere. (To date, I have downloaded "Killdozer," "Barracuda," "Rolling Thunder," "Thunder of the Gigantic Serpent," and some of "Chinese Hercules.")

So bittorrent junkies, be sure to visit Cinemageddon and get your cult movie fix! :-D Blog ya later!

M.I.L.F. SOLICITORS!

While hanging around over at Gangrene Widescreen last night (awesome site! You NEED to check it out!) I came across another great site, namely CRACKED.Com. I'm not 100% positive, but I think this site was created by the insane minds that worked on the now defunct Cracked Magazine (which I always thought was ten times better than MAD, so sue me!). Here is a taste of what you can find on the site. This is an hilarious spoof of "M.I.L.F. Hunter:"

Apparently Real Moms Aren't Like the Ones on MILFhunter.com -- powered by Cracked.com

Enjoy!

The Vault is one again experiencing delays.....

You know, I never knew how I kept the Vault updated so frequently during the first few years. Now it hits me: I never had a life! Hahahaha.

Well I was going to get my roundtable review for "Rocktober Blood" done days ago (for the "B-Movies That Rock" roundtable I proposed months ago..... sheesh... I need to get the roundtable page up too!) but I ended up splitting and stacking firewood with my father during my entire three-day weekend. Needless to say, it took a lot out of me, and working on the Vault was not an option.

So, over the next few nights, I'll be slaving away at getting the Vault updated with some new content. At the very least, there will be a capsule review for "Rocktober Blood," but if I'm feeling froggy, I may even get my forever delayed "Legend of Dinosaurs..." review finished as well. Guess we'll all just have to wait and see what happens.

Well I'm gonna start chipping away at my next update, so until next time b-movie fans, keep fighting the good fight!

Coming soon to the Vault: B-Movie Art Gallery & New Reviews

Lately I've been doing a little sketching which I haven't done since I graduated high school. I drew a picture of Jet Jaguar and the monster from "Cloverfield" for my main man Steve who just graduated from college. (Man I hope he's seen the artwork... otherwise this post could ruin the surprise entirely....) Drawing (half-decent) sketches of these cinematic beasties got me to thinking that "Hey, it'd be cool to have a B-Movie art gallery on the site. Not just to showcase stuff that I've done, but to show other folks' artwork as well." This idea is still on the drawing board (pun intended! Zing!) but the more I think about it, the more I like it. So keep an eye out for a B-Movie Art Gallery at the Vault in the future.

This weekend, I'm going to be a very busy bee. But I do plan on A) finally posting my "Legend of Dinosaurs" review and B) a new review or two for the eminent "B-MOVIES THAT ROCK" Roundtable. The topic of choice are b-films that are musicals, have hard-rock soundtracks, or have "Rock" or "Rock N' Roll" in the title. Heck, if music plays any big part in the film at all it is fair game. I'm was planning on doing two reviews(one full-length one and one capsule), but I'll probably just end up doing one. Still that's something new to read and that's a good thing.

Well come back this weekend b-movie fans for the new stuff. In the meantime, keep the b-movie dream alive. Watch cult films without hesitation or shame; show them to your friends; spread your love of b-cinema; make this world a better place to live!

April stats for the Vault!

April, though devoid of any real updates or new reviews, turned out to be a pretty good month for the Vault with over 60 more unique visitors than I had in March. That's not a HUGE surge in traffic or anything, but its a small step in the right direction. ;-) So let's take a gander at how the site did in April 2008:

Unique Visitors - 4,981
Number of Visits - 9,726 (approx. average of 2 visits per visitor)
Number of Hits - 96,891
Bandwidth used - 2.38 GB
Best Day - 488 visits on April 26th

Top 5 Countries that Visitors hail from:
1. The United States
2. "European Country"
3. China
4. Canada
5. Australia

Top 5 Reviews for April '08:
1. The Monster Squad (1987) - 209 hits
2. My Bloody Valentine (1981) - 181 hits
3. Beware! The Blob (1972) - 174 hits
4. Arena (1989) - 172 hits
5. Transformers: The Movie (1986) - 151 hits

Top 5 sites that sent me traffic:
1. www.bmovies.com
2. www.badmovies.org
3. www.bmoviegraveyard.com
4. www.publicdomaintorrents.com
5. www.coldfusionvideo.com

Top 5 keyphrases and keywords that are used to find the Vault on various search engines:

Keyphrases:
1. vault
2. bmovie
3. bmovies
4. movie
5. b-movie

Keywords:
1. movie
2. b
3. the
4. vault
5. movies

Hopefully May will be a far more prosperous month for the site, but that all depends on how much free time I can pour into the Vault. Here's hoping that I'm not pulled away from my reviewing duties too much over the next thirty days. Well, time for bed! Cya later b-movie fans!

New capsule review at the Vault: Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1977)

Well I finally did it! I finally got a new review posted at the Vault, and I have to say that it felt pretty good to add some new content to the site, though I had to really rush to get it done today. (I got so immersed in finishing up the review and getting the rest of the site updated, that I was a teeny bit late for work. Oh well!) So without further ado, here is my capsule review for "Godzilla vs. Hedorah" (a.k.a. "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster")! This review is the final component of the "Reduce, Reuse, Recy-KILL" roundtable, which was set up by Anubis Von Mojo, the webmaster of THE TOMB OF ANUBIS. The topic of choice for this group effort was "nature strikes back" (and "nature run amok") films, and there's a good variety to choose from, so get reading b-movie fans.

Oh and as a treat, here is a cool vintage trailer for the U.S. release of "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster." So cheesy, but so good:

Stay tuned for that pesky full-length review for "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds." It should be hitting the Vault within another week or two; it all depends on how busy I am! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

An update on things....

Hey gang! Whoo! I have been a busy man lately; far too busy to work on the Vault anyway. Well.... that's actually only half true. When I haven't been helping my dad do some logging for firewood for Winter 2008 - 2009, or aiding my mother with yardwork, or helping my future father-in-law make preparations for putting in a new chainlink fence plus a concrete patio in his backyard, or spending a little time with Tara, or playing Guitar Hero III, or watching "Cloverfield" over and over again, or making plans for my best friend's birthday (I'd say more on this subject, but I have to keep things on the down-low because he occasionally swings by the Vault and the Blog.), or working full time.... I've been sleeping.

But, that doesn't mean I'm not working towards a new update. I'm going to be putting up a capsule review for "Godzilla vs. Hedorah" soon for the already week-old "Reduce, Reuse, Recy-KILL" Earth Day Roundtable. After that's posted, I'll begin finishing up my review for "Legend of Dinosaurs..." (which is still about 60% complete). So bear with me a bit longer b-moviephiles, and keep fighting the good fight!

Do something that matters; sign a petition to stop Uwe Boll from making more movies!

Hahahahaha. I truthfully doubt Uwe Boll would stop making movies, even if a million people signed this online petition, but the numbers (and comments) don't lie. The list has gone from 18,000 signatures to nearly a quarter million. Dr. Uwe Boll has angered video game fans and general moviegoers alike, and now is your chance to let him have it. CLICK HERE and sign this online petition! I think he's just a glutton for punishment and gets his kicks from all the "Boll Bashing" us movie fans / critics deliver, but maybe, just maybe there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon. If we all pull together, we can defeat Uwe Boll, and save the world from future House of the Dead, Bloodrayne, Dungeon Siege, and/or Postal sequels! ;-)

Apparently Uwe Boll has been frightened by the sudden surge in signatures and had this to say about the petition..... and Michael Bay.... and Eli Roth.... and George Clooney.... and himself:



Fight the good fight fellow b-movie lovers, and keep America beautiful!

DVD Blowout Sale at Amazon.com! Lots of cult titles available for under ten bucks!

Yes you read that right, cult movies on DVD for under 10 bucks at Amazon.com! The complete list of everything that is on sale can be found HERE. (There's a lot of boxed sets and TV shows that are half off too! Greatest American Hero Season 1 is only $11.99!)

Some of the titles that I've been drooling over, but sadly, cannot purchase are:
HUNDRA ($8.99)
BOONDOCK SAINTS: SPECIAL EDITION ($9.99)
LABYRINTH ($6.99)
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: 2-DISC SPECIAL EDITION ($9.49)
THE DARK CRYSTAL ($6.99)
DR. STRANGLOVE..... ($6.99)
THE BEASTMASTER: SPECIAL DIVIMAX EDITION ($7.99)
TALES FROM THE CRYPT/VAULT OF HORROR ($7.49)
BASKET CASE 2 ($9.49)
STREET TRASH ($9.49)
BRAIN DAMAGE ($9.49)
...... and there's so many more!

Head on over to Amazon.com and take advantage of these great prices. Since I'm poor I only got one of the films listed above (the Tales from the Crypt/Vault of Horror Double Feature from MGM). Hopefully this sale carries on into next week, then I can grab a few more flicks!

And, as some of you might know, I am an affiliate of Amazon.com and get small chunks of change every time you buy through one of my Amazon affiliate links, SUCH AS THIS ONE. If you are going to buy some cult flicks and want to help me keep the Vault online, then please, click on any affiliate links here on the Blog or on my site and buy b-movies! Also, shopping at my DVD Shop will help me earn some commission as well.

Well gotta run b-movie fans. Stay tuned for ... something.... sometime. ;-)

The Vault Master is.... addicted..... to gaming.....

For shame! Sorry that I haven't been around much gang. This past weekend I've become addicted to video gaming all over again. For months, my Nintendo Wii (and various PC games) have sat unused and covered in dust. Then, Friday night, I bought Guitar Hero III and Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii and I've been spending all my free time on those games (well... mainly on Guitar Hero. I've mastered Medium and am slowly working my way into the Hard versions of the game's six dozen songs. It's just so damned addicting!!!!)

So that is why there are no new reviews up at the Vault. I'm hoping to "kick the habit" this week, at least for a day or two, to finish up my "Legend of Dinosaurs" review, then I'm going to leap onto "Razorback" and get that done ASAP. Then I'll get my super duper late roundtable review for Puppet Master completed and all will be right with the world.

Again my apologies b-movie fans. Now if you'll excuse me, I best be getting to work before the urge to play Guitar Hero takes over.......

Ack! Must..... fight it..... must.... get in shower..........

Oh and this is Blog Post number 200! Woohoo! A milestone! ;-)

Online petition for an UNCUT DVD release of "My Bloody Valentine!"

Well I'm back everyone and have been fighting a pesky cold ever since I left for Atlantic City on Sunday. Because of said cold, I've been going to bed earlier than usual and haven't had much time to spend on the site.

Anyway, I got an e-mail from a reader named Herbert tonight, who commented on "My Bloody Valentine." He is a big fan of the film but was saddened to learn that a lot of the gore was trimmed from the movie by Paramount. This got me thinking, and soon I was zipping across the world wide web at the speed of light. After a few moments, I discovered an online petition to get an UNCUT DVD of "My Bloody Valentine" released. I signed it, and I think you should too. Paramount has been chopping up films in our beloved slasher genre for far too long, and it is time that they atone for their sins against this Canadian masterpiece.

CLICK HERE to sign the petition for an Uncut "My Bloody Valentine" Special Edition DVD! (Note: This is a FREE petition. Though ipetitions.com tries to swindle a "donation" out of you after you sign, let me assure you that the option of giving money to them is completely voluntary.) Currently the petition only has a dozen or so signatures, so make sure you put your John Hancock on there!

If you're not familiar with this often overlooked slasher classic, then READ MY REVIEW!

Well I'm hittin' the hay, so goodnight b-movie fans, and stay tuned for some new stuff at the Vault!

The Vault Master is OUT + Download Godzilla Final Wars Soundtrack for FREE!

Hey b-movie fans. I am stepping out the door in an hour or two and will be staying overnight at my girlfriend's house; then tomorrow at 6 AM, we are getting up and heading out to Atlantic City via bus. I won't be back home until Monday morning.

Since I spent the afternoon helping my folks with some yard work, I didn't get any more work completed on my next two reviews. To sort of make up for this, I am supplying you with a very hard to find soundtrack for the (thus far) "final" Godzilla film. My main man, the "Long Island Ripper" from The Inferno Music Crypt, managed to track it down for me and I've been grooving to it for the last few days. (Track 18, entitled "Kazuma's Sacrifice," is my favorite of the bunch!)

CLICK HERE to download the official soundtrack to "Godzilla: Final Wars!" (Note: The only track missing is the song "We're All To Blame" by SUM41 which plays briefly during Godzilla's short fight with Zilla.)

So expect those pesky reviews for "Legend of the Dinoaurs..." and "Puppet Master" to hit The Vault next week, I promise! Heck, I may even try my hand at putting some screenshots of the movies in the reviews and include a few cool downloads, just to make it up to you dear readers and fellow b-movie fans! But alas, I must get ready to go. Enjoy the weekend; catch you on the flipside guys and ghouls!

Progress report on "Legend of Dinosaurs" and "Puppet Master."

Just thought I'd check in and let you guys know that I'm slowly but surely finishing up my next two reviews. Here is how things are progressing right now:

"Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds" (Approx. 65% complete)
Completed sections: Characters, Memorable Quotes, and Commentary.
The Plot section is roughly 75% done, after that I just have to write the film and dvd review, then add some trivia, movie recommendations, and a download link for the soundtrack.

"Puppet Master" (Approx. 5% complete)
Completed sections: None
I've been trying to finish up "Legend of Dinosaurs" so I can get to this movie, but that damned review keeps getting longer and longer.... My review page is set up for "Puppet Master" and I've watched and taken notes on the movie and the disc.

My goal was to get both reviews done and posted by Saturday afternoon, but it looks like they'll be postponed until next week as I won't be home on Sunday. Sorry for the delay, but I just haven't had a good FULL day to sit down and bang these reviews out, so I'll just have to keep chiseling away at them a bit more every day.

Well g'night b-movie fans, and keep fighting the good fight!

Bloody Blood - The Cult Movie Trailers Blog!

I've been meaning to link to and post about this blog for a while. The Bloody Blood - Cult Trailers Blog is chock full of trailers for hundreds of cult, horror, sci-fi, fantasy, and b-films! The blog is fairly easy to navigate, thanks to all the labels, and there's even a large collection of cult movie interviews that the blogmaster has found all over the web! This is nifty blog to spend some time in so head on over and give it a look!

Oh and just because I love this movie, and because I found the trailer for it at Bloody Blood, here is the official trailer for "SABATA:"

Some handy Tax Refund / Tax Rebate links!

For those of you that know me pretty well: You all know how awful I am at A) balancing my checkbook and B) spending money wisely. Well, due to my being a "good Samaritan" the other night, and due to my inability to keep track of all the checks I write, I have overdrawn on my bank account and have been hit with some fees. (Curse you Pennstar!) Because of this, I'm now even more anxious to receive my tax return in the mail, as I'm sure a lot of you are. Today I went to www.irs.gov to find out how soon I will be getting my money.

To find out when your tax refund will be sent to you CLICK HERE and type in your social security number and the exact amount you are expecting to get back. (My refund check is being mailed out tomorrow! Thank the Gods!)

The other question floating around in everyone's mind, is "Am I getting that dang-blasted Tax Rebate that ole President Bushy Jr. keeps gummin' about?" To find out about that, and to see how much you will most likely be getting, CLICK HERE. Have your copy of your tax return forms ready. (According to this Tax Rebate Calculator, I'm due for $600.00! My check should be in the mail by May 23rd! Rock N' Roll!) To find out when you should get your tax rebate, CLICK HERE.

So if you're bad with money like I am, just hang in there! The government will be sending your money soon! If you can't wait and need cash immediately, here's what you can do: Sell your blood, sell your sperm (or ovum if you're of the female persuasion), sell your body, roll change, mow a lawn, shovel a driveway, do small oddjobs for your neighbors, hire yourself out as a hitman, or become a scientific guinea pig for a day.

Well I must be off to work, so have a great day b-movie fans! Blog ya later!

March 2008 stats for the Vault!

March was my best month thus far this year. Not too surprising considering that I overhauled the site and have added a lot of new content this past month (two new capsule reviews, two new full-length reviews, and one updated review). Here are the stats for March 2008:

Unique Visitors: 4,869
# of Visits: 8,824
# of Hits: 109,625
Bandwidth Usage: 2.54 GB
Best Day: March 21st, with 339 Unique visitors
Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays are, on average, the busiest days for the Vault!

Top 5 Countries that visitors hail from:
1. The United States
2. "European Country" (formerly "European Union")
3. Canada
4. Netherlands
5. China

Top 5 reviews on the site for the month of March:
1. The Monster Squad (1987)
2. Arena (1989)
3. Transformers: The Movie (1986)
4. Beware! The Blob (1972)
5. My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Top 5 sites that send me visitors:
1. www.bmovies.com
2. www.badmovies.org
3. www.geocities.com/jrgdawg/ (The Old Vault)
4. www.publicdomaintorrents.com
5. www.bmoviegraveyard.com

Thanks for the traffic guys! Be sure to visit the above sites and give them a little lovin'!

Top 5 Keywords and Keyphrases that were used to find the Vault:
KEYPRHASES:
1. vault
2. b movies
3. movie
4. bmovie
5. arena 1989

KEYWORDS:
1. movie
2. vault
3. the
4. b
5. movies

And finally......
758 out of 4,869 visitors have The B-Movie Film Vault bookmarked!

So as you can see, March was a pretty good month. I'm hoping that things pick up for the site even more this year. If the traffic continues to rise, then you can rest assured that more reviews and other fun content will appear on the site. Thanks for making March a successful month b-movie fans! Blog ya later!

Dead Next Door Soundtrack hitting stores in May!

On May 20th, 2008, Tempe Entertainment will be releasing the remastered original motion picture soundtrack for J.R. Bookwalter's indie classic, "The Dead Next Door." The CD will retail for a mere $9.99, and will be available wherever soundtracks are sold. The entire soundtrack will also be available for download at various MP3 sites on the web on the same date. Fore more news on this soundtrack, check out this forum post. You can pre-order this soundtrack directly from Tempe at their website, by CLICKING HERE. You can view a larger version of the CD cover HERE.

DEAD NEXT DOOR OST TRACK LISTING:
1. Prologue (2:21)
2. Main Titles (2:52)
3. Farmhouse (4:27)
4. Virginia to D.C. (3:06)
5. D.C. to Akron (1:47)
6. Bow House (3:15)
7. Vincent Freaks Out (4:43)
8. It's A Damned Cult (2:38)
9. Car Ghouls / Setup For Danger (4:00)
10. Escape from the Bow House (5:11)
11. Altar Room Chase (1:34)
12. The Dead Walk (5:01)
13. Pursuit of the Dead (2:45)
14. Trapped Like A Rat (1:59)
15. Epilogue (1:25)
16. Left For Dead (Instrumental Version) (4:18)

This is pretty cool news; I think I'm going to have to get my paws on this CD when it comes out!

Guest posting disabled at the Vault Forums!

Despite security upgrades and the best efforts of myself and fellow moderators, spammers kept slipping through and posting pornographic material all over my Forum. Therefore I have disabled guest posting in the Forum, permanently. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Hopefully this doesn't stop any of you that did post as a guest from joining our small, but friendly, group in the It Came from the Vault Forum! Please register to become a member and chat it up with the rest of us!

Now please excuse me, I've got two reviews to finish up and post before this weekend. Take it easy b-movie fans!

Capsule review for Dai-Nipponjin now posted!

Hello dear readers and fellow b-movie fans! I'm currently finishing up work on two reviews, so here's a little something to hold you over until I'm done:

CLICK HERE to read my capsule review for "Dai-Nipponjin!"

"Dai-Nipponjin" is an insane comedy/mockumentary about the darker side of being a giant Japanese superhero! Meet Masaru Daisatou: He's in his forties, is heading towards divorce, makes barely enough money to survive, and is Japan's only hope against giant monsters! Whenever his country is threatened by kaiju, Masaru gets ritualistically electrocuted to become Dai-Nipponjin (pictured above). Read more about this film at IMDB.com, and visit the official Dai-Nipponjin website!

Stay tuned for two new full-length reviews for "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds" and "Puppet Master!" I'm currently in the process of writing each and hope them both posted within the next few nights. Have a good night b-movie fans and keep fighting the good fight!

Guest posting once again allowed at the Vault Forums!

After installing a mod and cranking up the anti-spam protection at the IT Came from the Vault Forum, it seems that I have finally found a solution to my spammer woes. This means that guests can now make forum posts at their leisure, and I can stop wasting time by deleting spam posts, blocking IP addresses, and sending complaints to the abuse departments of various e-mail providers.

I'm going to be working on the Vault all night tonight, and all day tomorrow to get some new reviews up. I'm also going to add labels to my forum posts from now on, to make the BLOG a bit easier to navigate. I'm still debating on wether I should add labels to EVERY post, or just to all posts made in the last few months.

In the meantime, check out the IT Came from the Vault Forum by CLICKING HERE.
Register in the Forum HERE.
Read the Rules and Regulations HERE.
Read or post DVD News HERE.
Read or post movie news HERE.

Catch ya later b-movie fans!

Look for three new reviews this upcoming weekend!

Seeing as how I've been busy doing nothing (the urge to write fades in and out these days) over the past week, I'm shooting for this weekend (either Saturday or Sunday) to get new content up at the Vault. Expect a capsule review for the eccentric mockumentary "Dai-Nipponjin" as well as two full-length reviews for "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds" (just got my official Region 1 disc from Media Blasters in the mail today!!! YAY! That means there will be TWO DVD reviews for this film!) and "Puppet Master." The latter is my contribution to the upcoming "FULL MOON RISING" roundtable, which features reviews for a handful of films made by Full Moon Entertainment (or Empire Pictures). Most, if not all involve schlockmaster Charles Band in some way, and its a great way to cap off this month.

So stay tuned b-movie fans and you will be rewarded! :-D

A treat for fans of "Legend of Dinosaurs."

Thanks to Kevin P. from WTF-Film.com, I have a complete copy of the crazy soundtrack to "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds." I've converted the files from 192 kbps to 320 kbps, and upgraded the quality of the mp3 files considerably. I wanted to include the entire soundtrack as a download for my upcoming review of this obscure kaiju film, but 60 MB is a bit too much, even if my bandwidth for the site has been increased. Therefore, I have put the full, "digitally mastered" soundtrack in a .RAR file, and uploaded it to my RapidShare account.

I'll still post a track or two on the review for all of you to sample, but if you don't want to wait, and want all 17 delicious tracks, JUST CLICK HERE. You are entitled to ONE free download from RapidShare if you do not have an account, so you are good to go no matter what. Enjoy this insane music (from composer Masao Yagi) and keep an eye out for my review for "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds" next week!

R.I.P. - My Samsung HDTV.....

I just can't catch a break lately....
After coming home from work Saturday night, I eagerly sat down in front of my TV to watch "No Country for Old Men" (nevermind how I got my paws on it three days early). I had my bottle of Ginger Ale, a bag of Tostitos, and I was ready to go. About two minutes into the film, the TV suddenly flickered off. I thought at first that the power went out and came back on within a split second, then noticed that A) the DVD player was still going and B) my surround sound was still belting out dialog from the film. I picked up my TV remote and began pressing the "POWER" button repeatedly: Nothing. Got up and started pushing the "POWER" button on the TV repeatedly: Nothing. I got on my hands and knees behind the entertainment center and unplugged the TV, then plugged it back in. Then I hit the power button again, and presto(!) the TV was on. Less than ten seconds later, it turned off again. Now, it will not turn on at all and I am in deep sorrow. I got this beautiful Samsung 27" HDTV on July 29th of last year, with a four year warranty (and alleged in-home service) and now it is dead. I'm in the process of getting a hold of the only repair shop that can handle this job, so hopefully, before the week is through, I'll be enjoying movies and video games in HD (or "near-HD") quality again. Tis a sad day.... excuse me while I go weep in the corner for a few hours...

How many 5-year olds could you take in a fight?

I was surfing through the Badmovies.Org Forum this afternoon and found this humorous test in a post. Just for the record, according to this test I can easily take down 17 vicious ankle-biting, crotch-destroying five-year-olds. How many can you successfully take on in battle?!

17

Have fun with this test and feel free to post comments of your results! Blog ya later b-movie fans! :-D

I'm Back!

Well I'm officially back from my three day vacation and I had a blast. I pigged out, watched a ton of flicks, and played Halo 3 for hours on end with my best bud Chris down at Kutztown University. Yes all was well .... until I went into work yesterday. I'm out $600 due to a huge lapse in judgment on my part and my boss plans on collecting that cash ASAP. I'm not going to go into heavy details but basically I allowed a customer to cash a check, it didn't go through, and now my boss has decided that taking my next two paychecks as recompense is a fit punishment. Yes, I've been told that this is illegal, and I was more than pissed off, but unfortunately I'm deep in debt and short of working in a stone quarry, this is the highest paying job around town. So I'm just sorta stuck right now. But I'm a firm believer in karma and I figure that I'll come out on top in the end. At least I hope so.....

03-06-08 UPDATE: Looks like a bit of good luck has come my way. Obviously feeling a bit guilty, my employer contacted the bad checkwriter and apparently the guy came into the store and agreed to pay for the bounced check. If my luck holds, I'll be in the clear by the weekend. "Gods of War protect me. May they protect you."

So yeah, after three days of bliss, I got bitch-slapped hard. Still, that hasn't stopped me from updating the Vault. I've just uploading a refurbished review of UNINVITED (1988) from the old review archives. That should hold you over until I get some fresh new reviews typed up. As stated in the last post, my next two reviews will be for "Dai Nippon Jin" (2007) and "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds" (1977), two very odd Asian films that feature giant monsters.

Well I've had a very long couple of days, so I'm going to hit the hay and recharge the batteries. G'night b-movie fans!

The Vault Master is OUT.

Hey all, I'm getting my gear ready and am about to head out on an adventure to Kutztown to visit my best bud Chris. The trip should take about two, maybe two-and-a-half hours, and shouldn't be too treacherous now that the roads have been plowed and salted. (I swear, this dang winter weather is trying to ruin my weekend!) I'll be staying there to Monday morning.

I had originally planned to post something before I left and was working on getting an old review from Ye Olde Vault Archives fixed up and uploaded to the site. I nearly finished my work, but last night I was too darned tired to complete the revamping. So, you'll just have to wait until Monday to get something (sort of) new to read. What movie you may be wondering? Sorry, can't tell! It's a surprise. I will tell you that the next two films on my slate are: Dai Nippon Jin (Giant Japanese Person) and "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds." Look for those later this coming week, or early next. Well, catch ya later b-movie fans! Enjoy your weekend!

Alien vs. Predator (2004) review is a go!

My late roundtable review for "Alien vs. Predator" is now online! THRILL!!! ...as Paul W.S. Anderson ruins a perfectly good crossover movie! GASP!!! .... as two-dimensional characters becoming unwilling parents! WONDER!!! ....why it took so long for this damn movie to get made! Check out my review HERE.

Also, I have to note that the "new" Vault is fully operational. It is now the mightiest power in this universe and capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast! Feel free to let me know how you like the new look and please notify me of any dead links or problems with any of the pages.

That's it for now b-movie fans, so enjoy all the new stuff. I'm going to be going down to Kutztown University this coming weekend to spend time with my buddy Chris, so I won't be updating the site again until late next week. I plan on posting a capsule review for "Dai Nipponjin" (roughly translated: Big Japanese Man), an all new and totally bizarre kaiju film. Also, expect a fresh full-length review for "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds." And if I'm feeling good enough, I'll be fixing up an old review from the ancient Vault archives and will upload that as well.

So enjoy your Monday everyone! I'll blog ya later! :-D

Boy am I tired.....

Ok, so here's what's going down with the Vault guys and gals. I've pretty much finished the remodeling I wanted to do on the site. There's still a few things I need to tweak (the forums and blog mainly) before the revamp is complete. Also, I'm working on TWO new reviews this week for "My Bloody Valentine" and "Alien vs. Predator." The latter will be my contribution for an upcoming "VS. Roundtable." But what about that capsule review for "My Demon Lover?" Well its posted HERE. Keep an eye on the Vault between Thursday and Saturday for the new reviews and the complete upload of the newly remodeled B-Movie Film Vault! I've been working feverishly for the past week to get all this stuff done, and by the end of this week, I'll be taking a well deserved break! Well g'night b-movie fans! Keep fighting the good fight and don't let normal cinema-lovers get you down. :-D

Update on my progress.

Hey all. Here's a quick update on what was supposed to be a Valentine's Day treat for all of you. But now, it'll be more like a "Belated Valentine's Day treat:"

I've watched and taken notes on "My Bloody Valentine;" the review page is ready, I just need to write the review; I've ripped that crazy country/folk song from the end credits of the film and will be including that for download in the EXTRAS section of the review. If you want the song now, you can grab it over at The Inferno Music Crypt.

I have yet to watch "My Demon Lover" (that'll be tonight most likely) but I have its capsule review page set up and ready to go.

I've also made more changes to the site and created some new graphics that I think came out pretty cool. I just hope Rick Sloane doesn't come after me for using his "most beloved" creations as my "sorta mascots." ;-) What do I mean? Well you will see for yourself in another day or two.

Stay tuned everyone; the next time you see a post here, it'll have links to the fresh, new content you've been craving! Blog ya later!

Soundtrack seekers, here is a treasure trove for you!

I was surfing the web in search of the illusive soundtrack and album for "The Monster Squad" (read my review HERE) and came across a fellow blogger's page called THE INFERNO MUSIC CRYPT. Not only did I find TWO different "Monster Squad" soundtracks there (one of which includes the two elusive songs from the film, namely "Rock Until You Drop" and "The Monster Squad Rap,") but I also downloaded (via Rapidshare) the soundtracks to: The Karate Kid, Jaws, Jaws 2, Jaws 3-D, Jaws: The Revenge, Dawn of the Dead (1978), Phantasm, Phantasm II, all three Evil Dead films, The Goonies, PirahnaThe Lost Boys (a whopping 3-CD set!), Teen Wolf, and many more!

I am in my glory and I want you to share in my joy, so head on over to THE INFERNO MUSIC CRYPT right now! (Note: If you use a free Rapidshare download session, you will only be able to obtain ONE download an hour. If you have PayPal, sign up for a short Rapidshare session and download to your hearts content.... that is, if you have high speed or broadband.)

The Renovations have begun!

Well if you've visited the Vault in the last month or so, you probably noticed that the reviews are now all different. The style is pretty much the same, but the color scheme is different and there are a few hidden surprises in some of said reviews (like the YOR Theme Song for download on my "Yor, the Hunter from the Future" review).

The latest update to the site is my DVD Collection page. The page is now MY MOVIE COLLECTION page and has been redesigned to fit the new color scheme. It took hours for me to complete the work, but I think it was worth it. Check out the revamped page HERE.

I'm going to be slowly changing up the rest of the site (slowly because I'm working with pure HTML, which has become a lost art form these days) to the new template over the course of this month and I'm also planning on adding a NEW full length review plus the first ever BMFV Capsule review late next week. Both films have a somewhat "romantic" theme to them, and are a great way to combat chick flicks on the lamest of all holidays. Ah heck, I've never been good at keeping things a secret, here's a little look at what movies will be gracing the Vault in time for Valentine's Day:





So stay tuned for more new stuff folks, I'm starting to come out of the funk I've been in, so expect great things in the future. (Or actually, don't. If I get your hopes up and fail to deliver on my promises I could become the object of your hate and disdain. So forget what I said and lower your expectations..... A LOT.) Keep fightin' the good fight b-movie fans! :-D