The Waaaaaaait is the Hardest Part

Well, after tonight, my Christmas shopping will be done, and I will be flat broke. I just got my girlfriend a remote car starter with all the bells and whistles (just short of an actual car alarm) and some diamond earrings. I just have to take care of a few small gifts and I should be set. (Currently I'm waiting for 60% of the gifts to ship from Amazon. I'm already saddened that most of the gifts are apparently NOT going to make it here by Saturday. I was hoping to have everything for Sunday for my Christmas party / movie marathon this weekend, but things are not looking good. Guess I'll have to hand out a few IOUs inside of some greeting cards... sigh....)

Well as I promised, here's a new holiday treat for you that I found on Y outube:


Hahahaha. How many parents have experienced a similar nightmare with an equally hard to assemble gift or toy?! Here's a new MAD TV Christmas parody that I thought was pretty well done:



Well Merry Christmas b-movie fans. Hope you get your X-mas shopping done soon!

7 Days until Christmas... here's some stress reduction!

Are you as stressed as I am this week? Well here's a little something to give you a laugh and drop your stress level down a notch or two:



I'm gonna try and post other X-mas funnies for the next six days. And if you're not done shopping yet, like me, then get going! I only have to buy some stuff for my girlfriend and two or three friends, and I hope to get that done tomorrow. So get your butts in gear 'cause Jesus' symbolic birthday is around the corner. I know most of your holiday cheer is probably depleted, but just hang in there another week, then you can enjoy some (hopefully) cool gifts! At the very least, just hold on until New Years Eve. That's one of the few nights in our lives where it is OK to get sloshed! ;-)

Update on my progress.

Well, progress has slowed to a crawl because yours truly has discovered the joys of playing an MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game), namely 2Moons. (Because its a good and free alternative to World of Warcraft.) However, that doesn't mean I haven't made any progress on updating the site and giving it an overhaul. I now only have seven more reviews to update to the new template, then the pain in the butt task of changing over the rest of the site will come next.

Non-site wise, the weather outside is frightful. We've gotten freezing rain and sleet most of the evening so its pretty slick out there, and this is apparently only the beginning. Should make for some fun driving conditions this week. I just hope the weather doesn't worsen too much as I have a lot to do in the next two weeks (i.e. Christmas shopping).

Well I must be getting some sleep, so I'll leave you with something that should invoke the holiday spirit in all of you scrooges and grinches. No one does Christmas like Mr. Bean:

B-MOVIE PSA!

Thanks to my main man Dumpster Diver in the BMFV Forums, I got to see this cool fan-made "B-MOVIE PSA Announcement." Check it out below.



All your faves are here including "Troll 2," "Bad Taste," "Q: The Winged Serpent," "Plan 9 From Outer Space," and more!

And for good measure, here's another cool montage of b-movie clips set to "I Will Survive."



Enjoy b-movie fans!

Yes, I still have a pulse.... and so does the Vault!

Hey gang, it has been quite a while since I've posted on the ole blog so I thought I'd take a minute to deliver an update on how things have been going with the site and what I've been up to:

First off, the big news is that I'm now on Broadband! After years of suffering on dial-up, I've finally made the move and I'm never going back! I've already gone crazy, downloading multiple clips from YouTube and Newgrounds.com, and I've been downloading some extremely cool flicks for my perusing pleasure at sites like Bmovies.com, Bittorrent.com, and other similar websites! (I just finished watching a VHS-rip of "Damnation Alley" that I downloaded via bittorrent from THIS SITE. The "Tracker 3" website contains torrent files for hundreds of cinematic oddities. In fact, thanks to this site, I'll soon be watching "Star Crystal," "War Gods of the Deep," "Captain America 2: Death Too Soon," and "E.T. - THE PORNO!" No, I'm serious, the E.T. porno flick really does exist!)

In regards to the Vault, I've developed a new template for the reviews and have been slowly upgrading the current list of reviews in the archives to the new format. After that is done, I plan on giving the site an overhaul to match the reviews and Forum. This has already been a huge undertaking, but I feel that its time for a change at the Vault. I'm not setting any concrete dates for the "new look," but I'm hoping to get it done in time for Christmas. I guess we'll just have to wait and see on that.

Otherwise, things are going well lately. My bills are paid, my stress level at work has dropped to an acceptable level (Thanksgiving nearly killed me!), and my DVD buying habit has been stemmed for the time being, chiefly because Christmas will be here before we all know it. (However, this has not stopped me from getting the 8 disc GODZILLA COLLECTION DVD set from Classic Media, or HOT ROD, or the latest MST3K Boxed Set!)

Well I guess that about sums things up. I'm going to take care of a few things, and then I'm hitting the hay. In the meantime, check out some of the sites listed above (especially www.bmovies.com) and brace yourselves for the holiday Hell that will soon be upon us. Blog ya later b-movie fans! :-D

The BMFV Forums: Bigger, Faster, Stronger, Groovier.

Hey everyone. Sorry for the lack of new reviews, blog posts, and whatnot. The Forums up and died on me earlier this week after I attempted to install some nifty mods to make the discussion boards more fun and user friendly. Unfortunately I am a buffoon and ended up scrambling some tiny line of code somewhere. Fed up with trying to fix the problem and completely stuck without a backup of the forums themselves (a problem I have since remedied), I tossed the forums in the trash (which hurt me to do as they've been up for a full year and were chock full of useful movie and DVD news and reviews) and started from scratch. The Forums now have a nicer, cleaner layout, come complete with an RSS News Feed (which you can subscribe to HERE), plus dozens of new smilies and avatars. A good start to say the least.

My next goal is to add an events calendar and a 'reputation system' (similar to the "Karma" system used in the Badmovies.Org Forums) along with a few other goodies to make your posting experience more enjoyable.

Between rebuilding the forums and working my full time job in jolly old Rob's Market, I've been unable to get much (if any) writing done. But fear not for new stuff will be showing up at the Vault before Thanksgiving. I promise!

Well now that you are up to date, I'm going to go vegetate in front of the TV for an hour. Blog ya later b-movie fans!

Pre-winter clean-up at the Vault.

I spent most of my day off today doing work on the Vault and I've tidied the place up a lot. The main pages are now less cluttered (the B-Movie News and Rumors section is now gone), and I've deleted all the dead links to my older reviews in the archives. The site definitely looks a lot better if I may say so.

Now my main quest is to complete my "Ernest Scared Stupid" review, write up two or three capsule reviews (for the now uploaded, but empty Capsule Reviews page), and just keep things going. The next two months are going to be crazy for me at work (ugh, I hate the Christmas season.... why can't I just give someone a hug, handshake, or kiss as a X-mas present?! lol) so my updates are going to be even more sporadic than usual.

Well that's all I wanted to tell you. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still around and that I don't intend on quitting work on the Vault any time soon. G-Fan Central though.... is another story. Seeing as how I'm wholly preoccupied with the B-Movie Film Vault, I decided to remove any and all links to G-Fan Central for the time being. The site is still hiding on the web, and it shall remain hidden until I decide what to do with it. Should I let my seemingly unkillable Godzilla website rot away on my hard drive? Or should I put a little time into it and getting back up and running again? I just don't know.

Good night b-movie fans, I'll blog ya later!

Sorry for being temporarily MIA.

Hey guys and ghouls, hope you all had an awesome Halloween! Ever since my Halloween party last Sunday (the 27th) I've been pretty much absent for my web duties and I apologize for that. After the party, I ended up lounging the following day and watching more horror flicks with my girlfriend (all new stuff, 55% of which sucked, especially "Return to House on Haunted Hill" which featured Jeffrey Combs as the lead baddie.... too bad he had no lines and was hardly in the flick!). Tuesday I worked, then I had Halloween off and did nothing but watch a few flicks ("Halloween 2" and "An American Werewolf in London") and play "Company of Heroes" (awesome game!).

Now that things are all cleaned up, and all the decorations are put away until next year, I can get back to work on the Vault. My review for "Ernest Scared Stupid" is currently 10% complete and may be completed and posted by Sunday. The capsule reviews section is ready to go, I just need to type up a few reviews to get it going. My main concern is how I should write the reviews. I think I have an idea of what I want to do, I just need to test it out and hammer out the minor details afterwards.

In other news, head on over to www.badmovies.org and check out Andrew's new look for the site. It is VERY green. (My favorite color! :-)

And hmm.... what else can I talk about....? I've really got nothing else, so I suppose that means that this blog post is complete. Stay tuned for some new stuff b-movie fans; perhaps I'll review a few "turkeys" for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.

Why I'll never get arrested in New York....

Hahahahahahaha. The black dude in the speedo bitch slapping the guys being interrogated is hilarious. My buddy Steve sent this to me last night and told me that its from a flick called "Crusin" or "Cruising." (Or is it... Cruisin'?) Just thought I'd share this with you for fun.

And in the Halloween spirit, here's a cool trailer for "Maniac Cop"

You have the right to remain silent... forever!!!

Well I'm going to bed to get a little rest before my Halloween party. I printed up some cool "barf bags," got me some pumpkins to carve, bought a ton of junk food, and am ready to have a fun time. Even better...... ONLY THREE MORE DAYS TIL HALLOWEEN! HOORAY!

Awesome Halloween Offers from Bittorrent.com!!!

Hey gang! The awesome folks at Bittorrent.com have kindly given myself (and anyone reading this blog post) the chance to download some horror flicks for very low prices!!! You can download "The Reaping" (starring Hillary Swank) for 99 Cents up until October 30th! (This is a great deal as the film is normally $14.99 to download.) CLICK HERE to get "THE REAPING!" You can also download the following horror flicks for $4.99 apiece until November 1st! Take advantage of these great offers before they expire:

BitTorrent Halloween Specials
Now available from Starz/Anchor Bay.....
Dario Argento’s The Card Player - Policewoman Anna Mari is forced to play a dangerous game with the title serial killer. If she loses, she witnesses the maniac's tortured victims having their throats cut in explicit close-up detail via webcam. She teams up with British cop John Brennan to find out the identity of the murderer.
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/starz/torrents/Card_Player__The_/9238ca92b64c96ad4c486ceadc3d8d1585d64882?csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Dario Argento’s Do You Like Hitchcock? - Italian Master Of Horror Dario Argento - the director of SUSPIRIA, DEEP RED, TENEBRE and OPERA - returns to the thriller genre with this sly and sexy tribute to The Master Of Suspense. Elio Germano stars as Giulio, a nerdy film student and lifelong voyeur who begins to believe that two lovely young strangers may have conspired to commit a brutal murder. But when reel obsession leads to real danger, one question alone holds the key to terror: DO YOU LIKE HITCHCOCK? Elisabetta Rocchetti, Chiara Conti and Cristina Brondo co-star in this bold giallo co-written by Argento and Franco Ferrini (PHENOMENA, THE CARD PLAYER), featuring a masterful score by Pino Donaggio (DRESSED TO KILL, CARRIE, TRAUMA), gore effects by Sergio Stivaletti (CEMETERY MAN, DEMONS), and filled with the classic touches of two true masters!
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/starz/torrents/Do_You_Like_Hitchcock_/131b5adacd80285e3cea8d3184ce10c92d400b10?csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Lucio Fulci’s The New York Ripper - This film contains adult themes and situations, as well as moments of extreme violence, that are inappropriate for younger viewers. New York City: It's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to die there! A blade-wielding psychopath is on the loose, turning the Big Apple bright red with the blood of beautiful young women. As NYPD detectives follow the trail of butchery from the decks of the Staten Island Ferry to the sex shows of Times Square, each brutal murder becomes a sadistic taunt. In the city that never sleeps, he's the killer that can't be stopped! Written and directed by acclaimed horror maestro Lucio Fulci (Zombie), and filmed on location in the man street of New York City, The New York Ripper is one of Fulci's most savage and controversial thrillers.
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/starz/torrents/New_York_Ripper__The/189d1c4db38522e38fe69a7da0eb64c3d3930dec?csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Wes Craven’s Hills Have Eyes - Horror auteur Wes Craven followed his threadbare but horrifically compelling cult classic Last House on the Left with this wonderfully demented morality fable about a bloody war of attrition between two extremely different families. The story opens on the journey of the Carters, a mildly dysfunctional extended family led by patriarch "Big Bob" Carter (Russ Grieve), as they travel across the California desert in search of an inherited silver mine. When a broken axle leaves them stranded in the middle of a former nuclear testing site, their attempts to find help lead them unwittingly into the territory of a savage family of cave-dwelling cannibals, the apparent progeny of the bearlike Jupiter (James Whitworth) and an abducted prostitute. Jupiter's eldest son Pluto (professional movie weirdo Michael Berryman) leads the first brutal attack on the defenseless Carters who, through necessity, are driven to equally extreme measures in order to survive. Though the film is not overtly bloody, the scenes depicting this confrontation are rendered with an unflinching directness, and the violations visited on the Carters are so brutal as to make the survivors' regression into savagery all the more convincing. No one is spared from the nightmare: Jupiter's boys have even kidnapped the youngest member of the Carter family -- a mere infant -- to serve as fodder for their next barbecue, and the baby becomes the main point of contention between the rival clans. Craven nevertheless refuses to take the easy way out by depicting his "monsters" as soullessly evil; parallels between either family's "values" are clearly drawn as the differences between the two clans begin to blur. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/starz/torrents/The_Hills_Have_Eyes/60dfab2e069975c071eab06cf343c09cfabaa9c7?csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Silent Night Deadly Night - Offended parents and others protested this slasher film when it was released in 1984 because it portrays Billy (Robert Brian Wilson) as a toy-store Santa Claus who goes on a rampage and axes people to death while still in his Santa garb. Four sequels prove the adage that there is no such thing as bad publicity. When Billy was just a boy he saw someone dressed as Santa murder his parents at Christmastime. Billy's stint in an orphanage did nothing to unwarp his mind (he is tied to his bed for "misbehavior"), and when he starts playing Santa in the store -- much against his wishes since he is deathly afraid of both Christmas and Santa Claus, he first only frightens the children who come to see him. Then his mind snaps, and he repeats the scene he saw as a child, on one person after another, in full gory color.
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/starz/torrents/Silent_Night__Deadly_Night/bd70d4d0f68d4f629ae72e8214f48c22ab8a3ffc?csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Sergio Martino’s Mountain of the Cannibal God - When her anthropologist husband disappears in New Guinea, Susan Stevenson (Ursula Andress) convinces her colleague Dr. Edward Foster (Stacey Keach) to lead her into the dark heart of the deadly jungle. But while exploring the forbidden mountain of Ra-Rami, the expedition is attacked and captured by a tribe of primitive natives. Even if they can escape the barbaric tortures of these flesh-eating savages, can Susan survive the depraved lust of their Cannibal God? Prepare yourself for the definitive edition of this notorious shocker! MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD has been completely restored from original vault materials and now includes the legendary and never-before-seen footage of deviant sexuality from the private collection of director Sergio Martino.
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/starz/torrents/Mountain_of_the_Cannibal_God/b3b56e4d57a17f67b48e8bf00bbafa0008deb62b?csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Evilspeak - Life sucks for Stanley Coopersmith (the incomparable Clint Howard in the wildest role of his career), a teenage outcast who's bullied by everybody at the strict military academy he was sent to after his parents died. But when Stanley discovers the crypt of a 16th Century Satanist beneath the school's chapel, he creates a computerized Black Mass that unleashes unholy revenge upon his tormenters. Now, all Hell is breaking loose &and Stanley's flesh eating demon-pigs are only the beginning! R.G. Armstrong (CHILDREN OF THE CORN), Lenny Montana (THE GODFATHER) and Haywood Nelson (WHAT'S HAPPENING!) co-star in this sick shocker packed with plenty of heart-ripping, head-splitting splatter! Prior to its U.S. theatrical release, the distributors of EVILSPEAK were forced to cut much of its graphic violence to avoid an 'X' rating from the MPAA. Anchor Bay now presents this gorehound favorite fully restored from newly discovered vault sources - including all of its long-rumored scenes of bloody carnage - and featuring a revealing audio commentary with Clint Howard and writer/producer/director Eric Weston.
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/starz/torrents/Evilspeak/dbba814012e46bb9f8514f4477d5b68a7c154520?csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault


Now Avaiable from First Look....
The Pumpkin Karver - A Halloween prank turns deadly when Jonathan stabs his beautiful sister’s attacker—her pumpkin-costumed boyfriend Alex. A year later they’ve moved to a new town to start over and leave their horrible past behind. They kick things off with a wild Halloween party on a deserted farm. But there’s one guest who wasn’t invited. A gruesome pumpkin-headed killer is ready to party—and dying to do some carving.
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/first-look/torrents/The_Pumpkin_Karver/91fc91b6dd51029f1bcc5b9c919e61667a201f2b? csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Dahmer - A butcher. An animal. A monster. Jeffrey Dahmer was vilified when authorities discovered he had murdered, dismembered and even tried to consume the bodies of 15 young men in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. But is there such a thing as a human monster? Based on the true story, this tale of terror dares to explore the truth of a man many called an abomination of nature, but who was most decidedly a living, breathing person.
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/first-look/torrents/Dahmer/7746b94c6d3186b2299954acc2e2bea178f21808? csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

The Attic Expeditions - When Trevor Blackburn awakes from a coma, he has no memory of his past. A sinister Doctor informs him that he has been committed to a sanitarium for the criminally insane after the sacrificial murder of his fiancée. As patients start dying one by one, he breaks into a secret attic in search of answers to their deaths. Thrown into a bizarre halfway house filled with strange psychos, his thin grip on reality begins to slip away. As he plunges into a violent and nightmarish world of magic, wild sexual escapades and torturous medical experiments, he soon begins to question his own sanity himself. What do you believe when you can't trust reality?
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/first-look/torrents/Attic_Expeditions__The/5138015dfd82646375f65593c42ec63baa9f4197? csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Subject Two - Subject Two is a chilling tale of death and resurrection breathing new life into the classic Frankenstein tale. High atop the Rocky's in his remote mountain cabin, Dr. Franklin Vick is engaged in controversial medical research...resurrection. Together with his psychologically unstable assistant Adam, Dr. Vick begins to test their work with gruesome effect on an experimental subject. Horrifying and violent side effects bring about disturbing results in their haunting and desolate snowbound isolation. Now, the world must face the consequences of meddling with death as it's unleashed for humanity...
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/first-look/torrents/Subject_Two/7faef4c475269118195bc91e16a7db2f1efe9b46? csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

The Bone Snatcher - Four prospectors who disappeared in the desert have been found stripped of flesh with their bones scattered around a strange rock dome. With no clues to the massacre, Alex discovers that he is now being hunted by millions of creatures united into one horrifying and unstoppable killing machine. As darkness descends, the ground itself becomes a living carpet capable of devouring flesh with every step. Hell has been unleashed…
http://www.bittorrent.com/users/first-look/torrents/Bone_Snatcher__The_/dbd22e2dfb6fb4de0db1c3319763ead38d887a08?csrc=bv&aa=vrl&bb=el&ss=bmovievault

Fulci's "New York Ripper" is hard to find these days, and "Evilspeak" and "Silent Night, Deadly Night" are must sees for any diehard horror fans. So what are you waiting for? Download these flicks before the offers end next week!!!!

Keepin' ya in the loop....

Ok, the "Host" is once again being pushed back as the Halloween roundtable, and my Halloween party are fast approaching. A review for "Ernest Scared Stupid" should be up by the start of the weekend (if all goes well) along with a few short reviews for "Chosen Survivors" and "The Earth Dies Screaming" which will be found in an all new B-Movie Capsule Reviews section! (Look for all that on Saturday.) In other news, I've cleared out all the dead links in the review archives to avoid any more confusion and annoyance that you b-movie fans may have experienced. I thought I could get them all rewritten and uploaded by the end of the year, but I guess I set the bar a little too high. Once I get the next update uploaded to the site, only 18 reviews will be listed in the archives, but I assure you that there are plenty more to come.

Also this weekend, I'll be throwing my Halloween party/horror movie marathon. There's been a healthy number of votes for what I should inflict upon my guests, and it looks like "Return of the Living Dead" is the number one pick. In second place, voters (thus far) have chosen "Cannibal Apocalypse" (starring the always awesome John Saxon), "The Lost Boys," and "Night of the Demons." Third place belongs to "Basket Case" and "Fright Night" with poor "Sleepaway Camp" bringing up the rear. Thanks for the votes and support fellow b-movie fans!

Sigh, this week is gonna be a b*tch: Along with cleaning things up and finalizing plans for the party (I'm giving away 9 DVDs, several of which are brand spankin' new, as well as some old VHS tapes from my collection, and some cool movie posters from my collection that I just didn't want anymore. A trivia contest will be held to see who is worthy of my stuff! Plus I need to make sure who's coming and who isn't and I best make sure I have enough junk food to feed everyone that is showing up.), I'm working a six day work week (the bonus of this is that I have Halloween off and will have a short, four-day work week next week), and I've gotta get my butt in gear and finish up the reviews I mentioned above! Can I do it?! Well, if my luck holds out, then yes! Yes I can! So cross your fingers b-movie fiends, wish me luck, and enjoy this random trailer for "Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III!"

I just love how this teaser trailer is made up like a warped version of an Arthurian legend! This has to be my favorite movie trailer of all time! :-D

Upcoming updates to the Vault

Its been very quiet at the Vault lately, but that's because I've been busy doing... something. Truthfully, I don't know where all the time has gone. I've been spending my usual 40+ hours at the grocery store like normal, spent last weekend at Tara's house playing Nintendo Wii and eating hot wings, and I've been watching some flicks and playing some old school video games. (Crono Trigger rules!) In between all of that... I dunno, it's all a blur. But I can assure you that none of my free time went toward the Vault.

Therefore, I'm going to rectify this in a little over a week. I'm hoping to get reviews for "The Host" and "Ernest Scared Stupid" uploaded and I also plan on starting a capsule/short review section of the site. I'll still continue posting full length reviews, but writing shorter reviews will allow me to update more often and cover a larger number of flicks. So stick around, chat in the forums if the mood hits ya, and stay tuned for the new review-age.

Oh and just to keep you up to date...... THIRTEEN DAYS TIL HALLOWEEN! :-D

Act now and YOU can get "28 Weeks Later" for only 99 Cents!

I recently watched "28 Weeks Later" and I enjoyed it quite a bit. Though flawed at times, this is definitely a worthy followup to the original. It was so good, that I may in fact end up purchasing it soon... for 99 cents! Yup, you read that right! The fine folks at Bittorrent are offering this awesome horror sequel as a 99 cent download for this entire week! (Seeing as how the original price is $14.99, this is a VERY good deal!) Act now, because the offer ends on October 16th! You can get your torrent download RIGHT HERE and enjoy this quasi-zombie flick ASAP!

And, just to reinforce the coolness of this horror sequel, here is the trailer for your viewing enjoyment:

Early Halloween madness here at the Vault!

Last night I started changing things up on the main pages in order to celebrate this holiest of months, and prepare for the Christian holiday of Halloween. ;-) I'm going to change things up a bit more tonight, but so far, I think the Vault is looking spiffy and festive, don't you? (That actually isn't a rhetorical question. Please, leave a comment here, or e-mail me and let me know what you think of the current look of the BMFV!)

Also, I've added a nifty YouTube clip right here on the Blog (if you missed it, then you're obviously blind) to sort of get ya'll geared up for Halloween this year, plus, if you scroll down, there's a fun Halloween-oriented poll for you to vote in. And speaking of voting, visit the It Came from the Vault Forums today and vote on what movies my friends and I will be watching during my Halloween party this year. CLICK HERE and cast your votes! (Note: You can't post in the forums unless you are a member, but you can still vote!)

That's all the news I have for you right this second b-movie fans, but stay tuned for a couple of reviews next week including a new one for "The Host" as well as updated reviews for "Uncle Sam" and "Uninvited," which will both be making their triumphant return to the review archives. Later this month (the weekend before Halloween to be precise) expect a review for Jim Varney's goofy holiday classic, "Ernest Scared Stupid." Blog ya later!

The NY Giants pluck the Eagles; The Vault has its best month EVER!

This past Sunday marked the seventh anniversary of my relationship with my girlfriend Tara. So rather than sit and watch my Giants sack the hell out of Donovan McChoke, I ended up spending quality time with my very special lady friend. :-D

However, despite my missing the game, I was overjoyed to hear that the Giants rocked the Eagles, bringing the Big Blue Wrecking Crew's record to 2-2! With key Eagles players out of the game due to injuries (including running back, Brian Westbrook), a complete inability to stop the Giants defensive line from getting to McNabb (who was sacked TWELVE times!), and a ton of penalties (including an illegal forward pass by McNabb that made a 20 yard touchdown pass irrelevant) , the Eagles simply went down in flames!

The final score of this game:

NY GIANTS - 16 | PHILADELPHIA EAGLES - 3

This coming Sunday, the Giants play another home game, this time against the New York Jets (1-3), who are fresh off a loss against one of the NFL's worst teams: The Buffalo Bills! Good luck this week guys! Show the Jets who New York's best football team really is! ;-)


In non-football news..... The B-Movie Film Vault has experienced an immense surge in traffic this past month! So a big thanks goes out to everyone who has visited the site! Thanks for taking some time out of your day to hunker down in front of the computer and read a few of my reviews. Here are the September Stats for the Vault:

Unique Visitors: 5,221! (A new record! Old record was 3,980 in July!)
Number of Visits: 7,773 (approximately 1.48 visits per person)
Total Hits: 98,254!
Total Bandwidth used: 2.56 GB! (previous record was 1.98 GB in July!)
Best day: September 27th; 363 unique visitors!

Top Five Countries that visitors hailed from:
1. The United States
2. Canada
3. China
4. Australia
5. Great Britain

Top Five Reviews:
1. Transformers: The Movie (1986)
2. The Monster Squad (1987)
3. Arena (1989)
4. The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1959)
5. Beware! The Blob (1972)

Top Five Search Engine Keyphrases:
1. vault
2. arena 1989
3. monster squad
4. beast of hollow mountain
5. godzilla

Top Five Search Engine Keywords:
1. movie
2. the
3. of
4. monster
5. vault

Odd Keyprhases used to find the Vault:
1. the 13 burning serpent blades of the ghost ninja assassin warrior s revenge
2. movie evil town kills tourist panties
3. film hunchback of nostradamus
4. surf turf and hell on earth
5. monster pizza for kids
6. babes in leotards

October is turning out to be a very good month for the Vault as well, and I really look forward to seeing repeat visits from frequent readers, and I also hope to gain new readers as well. Here's to another prosperous month for the Vault!

Updates to BMFV DVD Shop + Vault heads toward its best month yet!

After I got home tonight, I tinkered around with the BMFV DVD Shop for a few hours. I'm slowly rebuilding the store from the ground up, and have added several categories (Cult TV Shows and Popular Horror Franchises) and have added multiple subcategories for each page. I'm taking full advantage of all the extra space Amazon is providing aStore users, and should have the store fully rebuilt in a few more weeks.

In other Vault news, the traffic to the site has gone through the roof this month! This has easily been my best month ever, since the movie from Geocities, and people are streaming into the Vault by the hundreds from all over the world. (I guess putting up three new reviews in a month could be the cause of the sudden increase?) Thanks (danke, gracias, etc.) for visiting the site and helping to support the b-movie cause!

Well, I'm going to watch a flick and head off to sleep. Currently I've begun work on my next update at the Vault. I'm going to be updating two older reviews for "The Battle in Outer Space" (1959) and "The Mysterians" (1957) and putting them back into the Vault archives. After that, I'll finally dive into "The Host" (2006), then concentrate my efforts on another old review or two (quite possibly "Uncle Sam" (1997) and "Uninvited" (1988), and finally, on the last weekend of October, I'll be reviewing "Ernest Scared Stupid" (1991) for October's Halloween roundtable.

That's all I have for you tonight gang, so once again, thanks for reading, and be sure to keep fighting the good fight for b-movie lovers everywhere!

Beware! The Blob (1972) review is online!

My contribution to the BLOB FAMILY PICNIC roundtable is now online! (And only three days late! I'm getting better at meeting deadlines! Hooray! ;-) Out of all the blob and slime-monster films I could have picked, I went with one of the worst in that particular sub-genre. Sure the effects are neat at times (behold the power of reversed footage!) but when the cast is full of annoying and unlikeable characters, a massive man-eating slime creature from space can't chow down fast enough. (Sigh... talk about suffering for your art....) Just click on "Beware! The Blob" (1972) on the list below to check out my review!

Here's the full roster of participating sites and their reviews:
Shadow's B-Movie Graveyard - The Blob (1958)
The B-Movie Film Vault - Beware! The Blob (1972)
Badmovies.Org - The Blob (1988)
Cinema Suicide - First Spaceship on Venus (1960)
Darksider's Realm - The Stuff (1985)
Side Order of Ninjas - The Green Slime (1968)
The Tomb of Anubis - The H-Man (1958)
wtf-Film - Enemy From Space (1955) & Quartermass 2 (1955)

Enjoy all the reviews b-movie fans and thanks for all the support you've given all our websites! Stay tuned for more new (and old) reviews at the Vault, plus, expect another roundtable event at the end of October! Blog ya later!

Another update on my latest review.

I completed the Characters and Plot section. That just leaves the Film Review and Extras portions of my "Beware! The Blob" review. If all goes well, the completed b-movie review will be uploaded by late Tuesday - early Wednesday. Sorry for the delay and good night!

WOOHOO! THE GIANTS SCALP THE REDSKINS! BOOYAH!

Hahahahaha! Finally! I knew these guys could do it! The New York Giants got their first win of the season, defeating the Washington Redskins, who had the number one defense, on third downs, in the NFC East... the keyword here being had. After a very bumpy first half, the Giants were down, 14-3, but once they got back on the field after halftime, the Big Blue Wrecking Crew showed what they were made of and trounced the Redskins. The Giant's defense, which as been taking flak from the media and fans, put on a helluva show and completely shut down Washington's offense in the second half.

And speaking of which, the Giants' offense did splendidly in the second half and scored 21 unanswered points! Wide receiver Plaxico Burress racked up some major yardage and was the target of choice for Eli Manning. Plaxico help put the final nail in the coffin, after catching a short pass and running 33 yards into the endzone to put the Giants in the lead during the fourth quarter. Props must also be given to running back, Reuben Droughns, who charged through Washington's endzone defense in the third and fourth quarters, adding to the Giants big win! You guys friggin' rock!

The final score of today's game:
NY GIANTS - 24 | WASHINGTON REDSKINS - 17

The Giants played an excellent game today and I can't wait to see them take down the Philadelphia "Beagles" next week. Let's see the (now) 1-2 Eagles take on a REAL football team! (No offense Detroit fans.)

Now, with Sunday football out of the way, this here Giants fan is going to get back to work on a certain movie review. :-D

Update on "Beware! The Blob" review.

I've gotten a good chunk of my review completed. All I have left to do is finish up a few small chunks of the character section, type up the Plot and Film Review sections, then add some movie recommendations and trivia. It looks like I'll be meeting the September 23rd deadline for this review after all! :-D

Well just wanted to let you know that I'm writing up a storm. G'night b-movie fans!

Space Amoeba (1970) review at the Vault!

Yup, another new review is up at the site for SPACE AMOEBA (1970)! This is perhaps my longest review yet and, in my opinion, is certainly not one of my best. With this review completed and archived, I will begin work on my next one for "BEWARE! THE BLOB" (1972) which should be up by Sunday the 23rd. I'm pretty bad at meeting deadlines and due dates, but I have a feeling that I'll make it this time. :-D

Well it's been a long day! Time for some sleep!
G'night b-movie fans!

Space Amoeba review nearly complete!

Just a little update before I go to bed: I have just completed the enormous PLOT section of my "Space Amoeba" review. All that is left are the FILM AND DVD REVIEW and EXTRAS sections. Since my girlfriend will be here all day tomorrow, I'll be finishing up the review in bits and pieces, but it SHOULD be completed and uploaded by late Monday night. Once the review is up, I'll post about it here.

G'night b-movie fanatics!

Giants suffer another loss, this time to Green Bay.

This is shaping up to be a long season for the Big Blue Wrecking Crew and their fans. While I ended up missing most of today's game against Green Bay, I caught the end of the third and all of the fourth quarter, and what I saw was pretty disheartening. The Giants defense is still sucking big time, and the offense didn't bring their A-game either. In fact, as the commentators mentioned, the Giants all looked down and out, quite possibly due to last week's loss to Dallas. The Packers on the other hand were quite jovial and played a good game all around. Brett Favre was especially good natured, and why shouldn't he be? He just broke a record today for wracking up 149 wins in his long, 17 season career.

Things are looking even bleaker for the Giants as Eli Manning's shoulder may still be giving him a bit of trouble, plus the backup quarterback, Jared Lorenzon suffered a leg injury mere moments after coming in for Eli. That leaves Anthony Wright, who didn't impress me much with his short performance today, so the Giants may be screwed.

The final score of today's game:
GIANTS - 13 | PACKERS - 35

Next week, the Giants will hit the road to take on the Washington Redskins and will hopefully pull off a much needed victory. Good Luck guys!

New review at the Vault: Island Claws (1980)! + Today's DVD buying binge!

First off gang, here's some awesome news: There is an honest to goodness new review at the Vault for ISLAND CLAWS (1980)! This oft-forgotten eco-horror flick revolves around a small island menaced by an army of killer crabs. While this wouldn't seem like too big a problem, I must note that said crab army is led by a giant, roaring, man-eating crab! Fun stuff!

A review for "Space Amoeba" should be popping up within another day or two for your reading enjoyment, thus completing my contributions to July's B-MOVIE BEACH PARTY ROUNDTABLE! (Better late than never!)

Today, instead of exercising any self-control, I went on a quest to track down some of the DVDs that were released this past Tuesday. While I did not find ANY of MGM's Midnite Movie Double Features (even though I tried Best Buy, Wal-Mart, Circuit City, and Borders!!!), I still ended up with three boxed sets, and four other movies. Here's my latest haul:

The Classic Sci-Fi Ultimate Collection Volume 2 (A Best Buy Exclusive that contains: Dr. Cyclops, Cult of the Cobra, The Land Unknown, The Deadly Mantis, and The Leech Woman.)
From Beyond (The Unrated Director's Cut)
The Manitou
The Richard Pryor 4- Movie Collection (Contains "Which Way is Up?," "Brewster's Millions," "Car Wash," and "Bustin' Loose.")
Rubber Face (A Jim Carrey film from 1983 that I have never even heard of. It was only five bucks, so the price was right!)
TMNT (The new CGI Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, for those of you scratching your heads. I actually got this as a freebie because my buddy Chris, destroyer of chairs, is one cool friend.)
And finally..... MGM's Vincent Price SCREAM Legends Collection (Which contains: Tales of Terror, Theater of Blood, Twice Told Tales, Madhouse, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, Dr. Phibes Rises Again, Witchfinder General, and a Bonus Disc entitled "Vincent Price Collection Disc of Horrors."

This is going to come back to bite me in the ass big time, but I NEEDED to spend a little money today. It just felt right to slap down my hard earned money on these discs. As for the large list of movies I didn't find today, I plan on perhaps snapping up one a week off of Amazon since retail stores failed to supply me with what I really wanted.

Well I'm gonna do some work on the Vault and then watch a movie or two. Catch ya later fellow b-movie fanatics!

September 11th... forgotten because there's so many cool DVDs coming out!

Yes, 9/11 is a terrible historical event that will forever be remembered but I prefer to forget such an awful memory, especially when so much cool stuff is now out on DVD! Here are the discs that I've been anticipating for weeks (many of which have been OOP for years and are now seeing their debut on DVD!):

MGM Midnite Movie Double Features:
The Beast Within / The Bat People
Blueprint for Murder / The Man in the Attic
Chosen Survivors / The Earth Dies Screaming
Devils of Darkness / Witchcraft
Gorilla at Large / Mystery on Monster Island
The House on Skull Mountain / The Mephisto Waltz
The Phantom from 10,000 Leagues / The Beast with a Million Eyes
The Return of Dracula / The Vampire
Tales from the Crypt / Vault of Horror
Yongary: Monster of the Deep / Konga


OTHER MGM RELEASES:
The Burning
Curse / Curse 2: The Bite
The Food of the Gods
From Beyond (Unrated Director's Cut)
Manhunter (re-release with new box art)
Return of the Living Dead (Collector's Edition)
Scarecrows
Sometimes They Come Back
The Vincent Price Scream Legends Collection (Contains : The Abominable Dr. Phibes, Tales of Terror, Theater of Blood, Madhouse, Witchfinder General, Dr. Phibes Rises Again, and Twice Told Tales!)
Witchfinder General (FINALLY on DVD!)

FOX DVD:
The Fly Collection (includes the never before released "Curse of the Fly!")
The Lost World (1960 & 1925 versions!)

I'm trying to discover a way to get some quick cash (short of selling blood or prostituting myself) to get these, but it looks like I'll just have to be patient and pick them up as I have extra cash. (DAMN!) However, YOU can easily help my cause by purchasing any of these movies through the B-MOVIE FILM VAULT DVD SHOP! Don't feel obligated to get anything through the DVD shop or any of my Amazon.com or Movies Unlimited links found throughout the Vault, but rest assured that you are doing a GOOD thing if you do utilize those affiliate links. ;-D

Well I'm going to go and dream about those discs, so g'night b-movie fans and happy shopping tomorrow! ;-)

AH! Amazon aStore trouble!

I was having some trouble with my Amazon aStore tonight while trying to update it for this week's cult DVD releases. For some reason, I could not remove any of the DVDs I added last week to the main page. Frustrated I ended up deleting my main page/category which resulted in the deletion of all the painstakingly created sections of my little DVD store! ARRRGH!

So now I'm going to slowly rebuild my DVD shop and act a bit carefully the next time I experience any quirks with the Amazon aStore website. Currently this week's HUGE list of genre releases is up, as well as a page to PRE-ORDER some of the more highly anticipated cult movie releases in the digital format. (A quick note for Amazon aStore users, apparently there is no longer a 54 product limit in each aStore section as my main page holds SEVENTY-THREE items! Finally, Amazon is getting its act together!)

Also, I'm nearly done with my review for "Island Claws" and plan on uploading that bad boy either tomorrow night or Wednesday night. It took me a day or two to get in my groove, but the words were flowing smoothly today so the review will be done very soon. After that I'll be finishing up my "Space Amoeba" review, and will then move on to "Beware! The Blob." I know this is all old news, but I just like to keep everyone posted on my progress.

G'night everybody!

Football Season is in full swing! WEEK 1: Giants lose a tough one to the Cowboys.

Football season has officially begun and the first week has been pretty crazy. There have been numerous shutouts and several stunning upsets (I still can't believe Green Bay beat the Eagles! PACKERS! WOOHOO!!!!), but the important game of the night (to myself and thousands of other NY Giants fans) was the Giants and the Cowboys. While I had to catch most of the game on a radio station at work, I totally got into it and was cheering the "Big Blue Wrecking Crew" on! The Giants were pretty lively in the first half and managed to put in 10 points during the last few minutes of the second quarter to keep their hopes of victory alive. (As the quarter ended, the Giants were down by 1 point.) However, the Giants' defense fell apart in the second half leading to a final score of: GIANTS - 35 COWBOYS - 45! Don't worry guys, you played a good game and kept things interesting and that's all us fans can ask for.

Next week the Giants will be taking on the Eagle-slaying Green Bay Packers. This could be another good game if Green Bay's defense plays the way it did earlier today. Coupled with injuries to several starters (including Eli Manning), the Giants may have their work cut out for them. Good luck next week guys. Here's hoping you pull off a win!

Status Report

Ok, I'm heading off to bed, because rest is the best defense against a cold ... or... something. Anyway, I'm feeling much better and I think my body's immune system has finally gotten off of its lazy ass and started whooping this cold. Even better news than that is that I've got a good chunk of work done on both upcoming reviews at the Vault (that should've been posted about a month and a half ago). The only prob now is that I have to go back and watch both movies to fill in a few blank spots in my memory, but if all goes well, I'm aiming to get these reviews up before or on September 13th. Then I must dive headfirst into Larry Hagman's crappy followup to the classic "The Blob." Yes... I speak of that dastardly piece of crap movie known as "Beware! The Blob" (a.k.a. "Son of Blob").

Well g'night everyone! Cya soon!

Just my luck....

Yesterday was the last day of my vacation and though I did have some fun and get some R&R, its just my luck to develop a full blown cold the day I have to go back to work. :-P What started out as a possible allergy attack or minor sinus infection has turned out to be the dreaded common cold (or a minor case of the flu. I'm not a friggin' doctor so I have no idea what it is that is knocking my energy levels through the floor.).

I was going to work on my reviews yesterday, but I felt so crappy after I got back from the movies (to see BALLS OF FURY! And yes, it was pretty darned funny. The best way I can describe this movie is "Enter the Dragon" with a ping-pong twist. There's a ton of recognizable faces here too, including Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Jason Scott Lee, and various other comedic and martial arts stars.) that I didn't feel much like doing anything (especially since my computer chair is busted, thanks to my fat ass friend Chris. (Dude, you shattered steel with your mighty butt!)

Well I gotta go and get ready for work, so take care everyone, and stay tuned for some actual new stuff at the Vault.

Separation Complete.

As some of you may recall, I attempted to drop out of the Rogue Reviewers a while back for various reasons. (The main one being that the fun had gone out the group.) Rather than harp on about this topic, I just want to announce that I have completed my ultimate goal of distancing myself from the group. I still link to the Rogues sites, peruse them, and talk to some of my fellow Rogue webmasters from time to time, but I am no longer one of them. I've taken down all the Rogue graphics from my site, removed myself entirely from the Rogues Review Directory, and have replaced the Rogue Roundtables portion of my site with an all new B-Movie Marathons section.

Now, before I get a few e-mails or messages asking if this is all the result of a grudge, or some disagreement, the answer is no. I no longer enjoyed writing for Rogue Cinema (which is all the Rogue Reviewers do these days) and decided that instead of being dead weight I would just go and focus on my other web projects that have suffered since Rogue Cinema's inception. So there are no hard feelings on this end; I truly wish those guys the best and hope that RC continues to gain popularity.

Now with that said, its late and I need sleep so I shall be going. But before I do, here's a quick newsbreak:

The Vault is fully prepped for a new update, I just need to get my reviews for "Island Claws" and "Space Amoeba" typed up. Expect those reviews sometime this holiday weekend.

And speaking of this holiday weekend, I now have FIVE days off in a row thanks to some very generous co-workers/managers. Thanks guys! I truly will enjoy my little vacation! (Movie theaters, here I come!!!)

That's it, so goodnight and keep rockin' the B-World guys and girls! :-D

The Vault is alive and well!

Hey all! I've been busting my hump this week to make the Vault a bit more lively. Along with updating the main Frames and No Frames pages earlier this week, I've also been doing a ton of work in the Forums. I've created and uploaded three dozen new avatars, started a few new sections, and I've been posting movie and DVD news like a madman. If you haven't swung by to at least read up on the latest cult movie news, then you are truly missing out! I've also done a few other minor tweaks on the site (has anyone noticed the little nuclear symbol by my site's url in the address bar yet?) and am finally prepping to get my late roundtable reviews completed. My goal is to have them uploaded sometime this weekend so that I can jump into "Beware! The Blob" for the next big roundtable event: The Blob Family Picnic!

I gotta run to work, so I'll catch ya'll later!

False Alarm! Phew!

Ok, it seems that I was mistaken. Neither Lucy (our beloved badger/mutt) or Sophie (our large, beautiful, and stupid Labrador Retriever) have been locked up in puppy prison. They are both currently on parole at two separate sides of our property and tied up for the time being until their official sentence is handed down. Methinks that they'll get off for good behavior and only have to serve a bit of community service time and take courses like "Chickens: Our Clucking Friends" and "Inter-species Relations: How to deal with something that isn't a dog." That has made my day a whole lot better. :-D

Catch ya'll later!

A Sad Day....

Well if any of you perused, yesterday's post, you'd recall that my mother was anxiously preparing to get rid of our dogs. While I thought she was just blowing off steam, apparently she actually put her money where her mouth is because the poor dogs are gone. (At least I think they are.... it is eerily quiet here now.....) :-(

I'll miss those two lunkheads, and I hope that they find good homes. Just a note for anyone in the Susquehanna/Montrose/Hallstead, PA area: If you go to an animal shelter and find a small dog that looks like the offspring of a cow and a badger and/or a big, goofy yellow lab.... take them home and give them a lot of lovin' please. :-(

Lots and lots of jibba jabba!

Ok, as you all may (or may not) know, I've been very busy lately, so a lot of random stories, movie and DVD news, and other fun stuff has built up. To get myself back on track, here is a brief overview of my last few weeks, starting with August 13th:

August 13th was a pre-birthday celebration for yours truly, and I and about 15 other people went up to EMR Paintball Park to shoot the hell out of each other. The day was a lot of fun and I took my fair share of welts, but the final round of paintball was a massacre. Essentially, it was everyone versus me, and I got shot well over thirty times within a five-minute window. To make matters worse, I got stun by a bee (found a nest of them while ducking for cover... just my luck) and then shot in the c*ck (accidentally of course) by one of my friends. Despite that final round, the day was a blast.

August 14th - I turn 24... then go to work!

August 21st - 25th : I get super-preoccupied with fixing a coworker's laptop. Over the course of five days I upgrade his operating system to Windows XP Professional, which I then had to crack because Microsoft is gay and only allows ONE copy of Windows XP, XP Pro, or Vista to be used on ONE particular computer. During the cracking of XP Pro, I ended up with some viruses on the comp, but I think I managed to wipe them all out.... I think.... But hey, for someone that has no formal training in computer software (and hardware) maintenance, I think I did a pretty damned good job.

August 21st - the Present : I'm currently on day 7 of a 10 day work stretch. The result of this marathon is a four day vaction on Labor Day Weekend! Hopefully I can find time to go see Rob Zombie's "Halloween," "Balls of Fury," "War," and/or "Death Sentence" during my time off. Those are the main flicks I want to see. (I would add "Superbad" to the list, but I took Tara to see it last Monday. Yes it is as funny as you heard it was, and no... it is definitely not for young children.)

So there's a recap of the eventful second half of August.... well not entirely. To cut another long and detailed story short, my mother purchased a rooster and a hen at a county fair the other night. She was in her glory (seeing as how she was born and raised on a farm) but joy turned to tragedy when her hen escaped and (allegedly) met a bloody end after meeting our two dogs. Now there's a bit of a war going on at home as my mother has decided to declare jihad on the dogs and take them to an animal shelter tomorrow... over a ten-dollar bird that can be easily replaced considering that there are numerous farms in our area. Hopefully she is just blowing off steam because I'd hate to see my two goofy dogs get the shaft over such a minor infraction. (Stay tuned for "Dog Watch 2007!" Lol!)

In DVD news, September is going to suck big time because there are so many awesome releases and so little cash for them. MGM is unloading a ton of Midnite Movies upon us (e.g. "The Food of the Gods," "The Beast Within/The Bat People," "Yongary: Monster of the Deep/Konga," and many more) , Fox is dropping several boxed sets (e.g. "The Fly Collection") of classic horror and sci-fi goodness on us, Lionsgate is delivering the goods ("Alligator" Special Ediiton and "Cujo" 25th Anniversary Edition), and Warner is even hopping into the fray with their "Twisted Terror Collection" which features six lesser horror films from the last 25 years or so (i.e. "The Hand," "Eyes of a Stranger," "Deadly Friend," "Dr. Giggles," "Someone is Watching Me," and "From Beyond the Grave.") And just in case you didn't know... these are all available for purchase at the B-Movie Film Vault DVD Shop (which now boasts an extensive MASTERS OF HORROR section)! ;-)

In site news, I've been tweaking a lot of stuff all over the place and am prepping to get some reviews done. The biggest changes to the site are the "perfection" of the Frames version of the site (which now looks great on 1068 x 720 resolution) as well as a lot of new stuff in the Forums. (I've added Blu-Ray and HD-DVD sections and have been posting up a storm in the DVD News & Info forum!

So now that you're all up to speed, I am going to go to bed. Keep a lookout for some new reviews, and heck, if you've got a free minute, REGISTER in the forums and do a bit of posting. Good night everyone; I'll blog ya later! ;-D

Just checking in to assure you that I'm alive and well.

Hey all, it's been quite a while since I've done a blog post or posted new stuff at the Vault. Well today you... sorta get both! To bring all of you up to speed, I turned 24 on Tuesday, August 14th (and my mother turned 59 on the same day!!!) and the previous day I went to EMR Paintball Park with a group of friends (more on that in my next blog post. Boy do I have a funny story to tell all of you!). Today is my normal Sunday off and I'm heading down to Scranton to spend the night with Tara and probably go see "Superbad!" ('McLovin... sounds like a sexy hamburger.')

Over at the Vault, I've changed things up on the main page (the top 5 reviews haven't changed all that much, though once again "Transformers: The Movie" has dethroned "The Monster Squad" as the most popular review on the site; the new Movie of the Month is 1979's "The Dark" which has a large, angry, alien zapping people with his laser-beam eyes and causing all sorts of trouble for a fortune teller, a grieving father, and the local police; I've changed up the links in the nav-box at the top of the main pages (No Frames and Frames) and included links to the DVD NEWS, B-MOVIE NEWS, and REGISTRATION pages of the B-Movie Film Vault Forums. Hopefully this will usher more people into the forums and get a few of them to sign up and start posting! The biggest change I've made today is the "optimization" of the Frames Version of the site. It doesn't look very good in 800 x 600, but looks damn near perfect for those of you that use 1024 x 768 resolution! If you notice any bugs or problems, please let me know!)

Well I best be movin' on before the woman calls and yells at me. ;-) I'll be hanging out with friends tomorrow and playing some video games (in high-def! BYAAAAAH!), then I'll be slaving for ten days straight at work. The result of this onslaught of grocery store hijinks will be a small vacation of FOUR DAYS IN ROW! WOOHOO! I can't wait! In my time off from work, I will be attempting to get my two very late roundtable reviews done and should have them all set to go for (at the latest), Labor Day Weekend! After that I'll be tackling "The Host" (yeah, how long have you guys been hearing that?!), and then I'll be making preparations for the next big roundtable, entitled "THE BLOB FAMILY PICNIC." Seeing as how I've been treating myself to fairly decent cult and b-films for the last couple of months, I decided to suffer a bit and chose "Beware! The Blob." This Made-for-TV stinker was filmed by Larry "J.R. from Dallas" Hagman and is just godawful if memory serves me correctly. I'll post more information about this roundtable effort soon, but like I said before, I best get movin'!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend fellow b-moviephiles, and keep fighting the good fight!

Cool new feature at Badmovies.Org!

Andrew at Badmovies.Org is always helping the rest of us b-movie webmasters get a little more lovin' and his latest scheme is a wonderful one. Andrew has created a page that showcases the latest updates for various b-movie sites on the web! You can check out his new page HERE. This is very handy and an extremely generous gesture on Andrew's part and hopefully it won't interfere with his constant updating too much. (Thanks Andrew!)

In Vault news... I've updated my B-Movie Collection Page, the Links Page, and my Amazon DVD Shop. I'd probably have more done but between having an awesome new TV, tons of movies to watch, and a few new computer games to play, I've been enjoying my wonderful new electronic gadgetry instead of doing any writing. I make no apologies for this however because I've been having a very stressful couple of weeks.

Between the pressures and headaches of my current job and being slowly pushed deeper into debt (CURSE YOU AMAZON VISA CARD!), I've found it rather soothing to just shut off my brain and enjoy a movie or video game after a hard night's work. My only worry now is if I'll have enough money to gas up my vehicle for the remainder of the week, and if I'll have enough cash to pick up some snackage for my paintball tour of duty on Monday.....

Hopefully, as the weeks pass, I'll be able to pull myself out of my little rut (I seem to having a lot of them lately) and get the Vault updated. So please, bear with me... again... for the hundredth time or so... and I will get some new reviews and more uploaded to the site.

G'night b-movie fans!

Yeesh. I'm back on the scene after a harrowing week.....

Hey gang! I'm back online, back on duty! Last week, lightning struck near (or actually may have hit) our house and it killed my modem and TV. A week later, I have a new 27 inch Samsung HDTV with Upconvert DVD player (the audio and video are just plain gorgeous!) and my computer has gotten some major upgrades (I now have a GIG of RAM, a DVD player/burner, a new 256-MB graphics card, and a new modem!). All the bugs have been worked out of all my electronics so I now have time to get back to work at the Vault. I'm still finishing up my roundtable reviews from the B-Movie Beach Party, then I'm diving into "The Host" and will also be refurbishing several older reviews. In September, Andrew Borntreger (www.badmovies.org), myself, and a handful of other b-movie webmasters will be having another roundtable called "The Blob Family Picnic." Naturally we're all tackling the "Blob" films and movies starring similar creatures (e.g. "The Stuff," "Caltiki the Immortal Monster," etc.).

And finally, before I run off to work, I am turning 24 years old on August 14th! The day before, I and a group of my friends will be heading up to EMR Paintball Park in Montrose, PA for a day of (painful) fun. I can't wait!

Well I'll blog ya later b-movie fans! Stay tuned for some new stuff at the Vault, and in the meantime, keep fighting the good fight for your fellow b-movie fans!

The B-Movie Beach Party is a go!

Yes, the eagerly anticipated B-MOVIE BEACH PARTY is here, and unfortunately, yours truly hasn't completed his reviews for said roundtable. But fear not, for I am working on them and should have them up later this week. (My apologies to everyone who was waiting for the reviews and also to those that managed to get their reviews done on time... God I suck at deadlines and due dates.... I still wonder how I've managed to maintain a good credit history....)

I'll keep all of you posted on my progress on those reviews (currently only 10% of each is done) and will announce it when they hit the web.

That's all I've got for you now (sorry again), but here is a cool reminder for all you DVD collector's and monster movie lovers out there: Tomorrow (Tuesday, July 24th, 2007) "THE MONSTER SQUAD" (2-DISC 20TH ANNIVERSARY COLLECTOR'S EDITION) and "THE HOST" (SINGLE DISC AND 2-DISC COLLECTOR'S EDITION) become available! Mine are already on their way (Thank You Amazon!) and I can't wait to go through all the awesome extras that each set boasts! YEEHAW!

G'night b-movie fans! Keep fighting the good fight!

Quick update on "B-Movie Beach Party!" Also, visit Lost Highway today!

Hey all. I'll be gearing up to get my "Island Claws" review done tomorrow night and will then dig into "Space Amoeba." While the tentative date for the roundtable is Saturday, July 21st, my stuff probably won't hit the web until the following Sunday evening. Man.... I really suck at meeting deadlines.....

In the meantime, while you're waiting for the thirty+ roundtable reviews, check out Lost Highway! This blog-style site is a very nice place to visit as the webmaster LOVES b-movies! (Wow, his tastes nearly match my own... perhaps this is one of the hundreds of Jordan-clones that is roaming the planet?!) I should also note that Steve will be joining myself and the nearly two dozen other webmasters for the "B-Movie Beach Party" roundtable! Man, this event is gonna be crazy-huge!

Well that's it for tonight b-movie fans. I have work from 9-5 tomorrow so I have to hit the hay so I don't screw up too much tomorrow morning. ;-)
Blog ya'll later!

Coming soon at the Vault: For the seafood lover in you, "Island Claws" and "Space Amoeba!" (+ A lot of site news!)

Hey gang! Just wanted to give ya'll an update on my next update at the Vault. Last night I watched and took notes on 1980's "Island Claws." Though I was originally going to give this movie a somewhat low rating, I found myself fully enjoying my killer crab experience last night, so the film is at least getting THREE RADS. Tonight after work, I plan on diving into that review, and if I'm not too tired, I'll probably watch "Space Amoeba" as well.

In other news: Andrew Borntreger and I have been chatting back and forth for the last few weeks, and seeing as how our "Reviewers in Disguise" team-up went so well we're already discussing another team-up/mini-roundtable for sometime in September. We're still working out the details, but the main topic will revolve around the "Blob" films and other slime monster type movies. I'll post more info about that as this new joint venture comes together.

In Vault news: If you've taken a good look around, you'll see that the Vault has been changing quite a bit the past two weeks. I'm working a few minor bugs out of the Frames version of the site, and I've updated most (if not all) of the sections on the site. Two major things I'm working toward are the inclusion of a mascot at the Vault (the Hobgoblins seem to be the best choice right now) and I'm slowly but surely working to distance myself from the Rogue Reviewers. I have my own personal reasons for doing this (the main one being that the fun has gone out of the group) and I hope my decision won't affect the friendships I have built with my fellow webmasters.

It's time for me to move on and bring the B-Movie Film Vault back from the brink. (As some of you hardcore Blog-readers know, I nearly up and quit a few months back.) I wish all of the Rogues good luck, and hope that they can continue doing such high quality work over at Rogue Cinema. (Please, don't burn yourselves out guys!) By the end of the month, the Rogue Roundtables page will be gone from my site (its ok though because all of the roundtable info is still on the Rogue Reviewers Homepage), thus completing my second task. The empty void that will be left over will be filled with a new section that will be aimed mainly at promoting the upcoming series of "Review Marathons" I have planned.

Also, after the "B-Movie Beach Party" roundtable, I plan on implementing a reviewing schedule. My current goal is to put up ONE new review every two weeks. On the off weeks, I'll be working on getting one or two older reviews whipped into shape and uploaded. My goal here is to get the older reviews back into the Vault archives, while still supplying readers with fresh content to read. I'm going to try this out for a month and see if it is at least feasible for me to accomplish. If so, then expect the Vault to return to its former glory at a speedy pace!

I guess that's everything I wanted to tell you guys and gals, so I will now depart for work. Have a great evening, and enjoy the rest of your Friday the 13th! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

The B-Movie Film Vault has received the LEGION OF MUCK AWARD!

After seven years of writing about bad movies, the effort finally pays off! Ladies and gents, the B-Movie Film Vault is now a proud member of THE LEGION OF MUCK! Thanks a ton Andrew, I greatly appreciate the award, and I will continue to bust my butt on the Vault to make it one of the better b-movie sites on the web. (I would say best, but I don't really consider my little site to be nearly as good as Badmovies.Org, Shadow's B-Movie Graveyard, Cold Fusion Video, or any of the other well-established b-movie sites that I frequent.)

Wow, 2007's been a great year for the Vault! I wonder what other wonderful things are in store for my site....

Andrew Borntreger and I are more than meets the eye!

After days of hard work, my review for Transformers: The Movie (1986) is finally online, thus completing my end of the "REVIEWERS IN DISGUISE" team-up with Andrew Borntreger. (And be sure to read his review of the film by CLICKING HERE!) With this project out of the way, I'll be tackling my reviews for the upcoming "B-Movie Beach Party" roundtable, namely "Island Claws" and "Space Amoeba." I'll be starting those tomorrow evening after I update the BMFV DVD Shop and should have them 100% ready to go by the July 21st roundtable date.

Update coming soon, I promise!

Hey b-movie fans. I'm sure you noticed that my review for "Transformers: The Movie" is suspiciously absent from the world wide web. Well, between a two day visit from my girlfriend, a visit to my buddy Steve's place to watch some flicks last night (we watched "They Live" and a cool Korean crime/drama/comedy/action film called "Public Enemy" that was just plain awesome), and going to see Michael Bay's "Transformers" (which f*cking rocked!) I just didn't have time to get this partially written review completed. So, before the end of the week, I will have the review up, and the rest of the site will be brought up to par as well. In the meantime, check out Andrew Borntreger's review for "Transformers: The Movie" (1986) HERE! (Sorry Andrew!)

"Transformers" review will be READY TO ROLL OUT this Saturday; check out Cinema Suicide!

Hey b-movie fans, I have not abandoned ye... err uh... thee?

After my late stay at work last night, I got home and watched "Transformers: The Movie," took my notes, AND went through nearly all of the 2-disc set's special features. I'm sort of stuck on what rating I'll be giving this animated adventure, but I can assure you that I really enjoyed it and plan on giving it an exceptionally high rating. (It's fluxuating between 3 1/2 rads and 5 rads! Perhaps I'll have to watch it again to make up my mind... hmm....) This review will be completed and posted on Saturday to go along with Andrew Borntreger's review of the film. Stay tuned for that!

Also, before you go off and do something constructive with your afternoon, be sure to pay CINEMA SUICIDE a visit and check out Bryan White's excellent reviews for various "B" and cult films! Keep up the awesome work man!

That's it Vault fans! Check back again at the end of the week for that new review and.... KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT FOR B-MOVIE LOVERS EVERYWHERE! HUZZAH!

A bit of Mega-Roundtable news; Vault news; other stuff.

First off, I have to proudly proclaim/exclaim that Chad Plambeck of 3-B Theater is now amongst the legions of webmasters involved in July's B-MOVIE BEACH PARTY! (And for the record, Chad will be writing about Joe Dante's "Piranha!") That brings our merry band to TWENTY-TWO!

In Vault news, I'm pushing "The Host" back into the Han River in order to tackle "Transformers: The Movie" for the June 30th "Reviewers in Disguise" team-up with Andrew "Badmovies.Org" Borntreger.

Lastly, fellow movie scribe Nathan Decker now has his own web domain for his site, Million Monkey Theater. You can visit his site at www.millionmonkeytheater.com and read his movie reviews and check out his "Carnage Meters." Good stuff!

That's all I've got for you tonight gang, but for more important news (i.e. Movie and DVD news) please visit the It Came from the Vault Forums!

P-A-R-T-WHY?! Because I gotta!

So yesterday, I was invited to a party by one of the girls (Jessica Romano) that works with me at Rob's Market (the extremely well-kept grocery market in the Mountain View Plaza in Hallstead, PA). While I wasn't big on hanging out with everyone I work with, I ended up going with my buddy Chris to "make an appearance." While the visit started with some trepidation, I went into full party mode as soon as I got there. I mingled with everyone, jumped on Jessica's trampoline, played volleyball, shot some hoops, hosed down a few folks with a garden hose when they were least expecting it, swam in the pool (where many chicken fights were had), and just got plain ole blitzed on Coors and Michelob light (plus I played "flip-cup" and found out that I'm pretty good at the game!). It was an amazingly fun time, and it was good to cut loose because I rarely get the chance. (I can count the number of times I've gotten drunk on one hand. Sad but true.)

So today there's not really an aftermath. I didn't fall off the trampoline and break a bone, I didn't have a hangover (though one started to creep up on me when I got home last night), but damn my shoulders are sore as hell from picking people up and throwing them in the pool, and from carrying around guys and gals alike during chicken fights.

Well, with all the partying out of my system its back to the grindstone, as I'll be heading to work in a bit. The end of the month is approaching very rapidly, so I need to get my butt in gear and start on my next TWO new reviews for "The Host" and "Transformers: The Movie."

So, have a good afternoon, good evening, and good night b-movie fans! I'll blog ya later!

"The Host" is coming....

I'm planning on sitting down tonight (after I finish budgeting my cash for this week and get my DVD Shop updated) and watching "The Host" and taking my notes. I would have done this sooner, but three things stopped me from enjoying this wonderful monster movie: My girlfriend, who stayed up here the past few nights; my best friend Chris, who wanted to hang out and watch some crazy movies (for the record, we attempted to watch "Slugs," "Freaked," and "Way of the Gun" but Chris kept falling asleep during each one of them! DOH!); Warcraft III, possibly one of the greatest RTS games I've ever played! It combines all the best parts of Warcraft and Starcraft and is very interesting and challenging. (Currently I'm stuck on a chapter in the Undead Scourge scenario in which I have to fight off human troops for a half hour until a demon lord is resurrected. I tried it twice and lost both times, but the second time was the worst as I only needed to keep my Necromancer safe for another 48 seconds!!! I nearly screamed in frustration!!!! GRRRR!)

So, if I can keep myself away from Warcraft for a few days, then this eagerly anticipated(?) review will be completed this week. Then it's time to take on "Transformers: The Movie!"

Well I gotta get my butt to work (I'm already running late!), so I'll catch ya later b-movie fans!

"Yor, The Hunter from the Future" makes its triumphant return to the review archives!

Yeah I know, "where's the HOST review you promised?" It is under construction and I will get it done soon, I assure you, but for now, enjoy my refurbished review for YOR, THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE (1983)! Reb Brown stars as the titular character and prances around a post-apocalyptic world full of cavemen, (mutant) dinosaurs, and robots! This movie is completely and utterly insane and is a total blast to watch! And for "Yor" enthusiasts, I have included the lyrics to the "Yor's World" Theme Song in the "Extras" section of the review! You're welcome. ;-)

Well that's it for now b-movie fans! I'm going to tackle "The Host" next, and then "Transformers: the Movie" (1986) for my team-up with Andrew Borntreger at the end of the month. We're both reviewing the classic 80's animated film to celebrate the theatrical release of Michael Bay's big-budget "TRANSFORMERS" movie on July 4th! So stay tuned and keep fighting the good fight!

DVD Shop has been painstakingly updated; STONE COLD comes to DVD!

After two hours of work, The B-Movie Film Vault DVD Shop is now updated with this weeks (and next weeks) new releases! This week is full of re-releases ("Alien," The Abyss," "The Terminator," and various other films are now available in fancy-looking "Lenticular Editions.") but has a few gems that are worth buying, namely "Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster" (BEAUTIFUL DVD!), "Invasion of the Astro Monster" (a.k.a. "Godzilla vs. Monster Zero"), "Attack of the Supermonsters," (first time on DVD!), and more!

Next week is full of "Bruce-sploitation" films (i.e. films made after Bruce Lee's death to capitalize on his fame. Stars that resulted from this bizarre era of cinema include Bruce Li, Bruce Lai, Dragon Lee, and over a dozen other Bruce Lee impersonators!) but also boasts the release of Marvel's "Ghost Rider" and more importantly "Stone Cold!" (Yes, that "Stone Cold!") The disc seems to be bare bones, but that's fine by me and many other fans of this "Brian Bosworth classic."

If you're interested in pre-ordering STONE COLD, then CLICK HERE! (Note: I get a small amount of comission if you pre-order the film through this link. It doesn't cost you anything extra, and helps keep the Vault online! However, if you prefer not to buy it through my affiliate link, then CLICK HERE!)

That's it for now b-movie fans, but stay tuned for the resurrection of "Yor, the Hunter of the Future" in the B-Movie Film Vault review archives!

The Vault celebrates its SEVENTH YEAR ONLINE!

As of midnight, June 6, 2007, the B-Movie Film Vault will have been online for a total of SEVEN YEARS! Sadly I have nothing new for you to read as I've been busy and lazy over the past week. I still have yet to watch "The Host" and take notes (every time I decide to watch it, I get preoccupied with something else, like my girlfriend) but I do plan on putting SOMETHING up on the site. I started polishing up my old review for "YOR, THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE" and got about 55% of it completed. I'll probably finish that up and get it uploaded to the server later today. In the meantime, I'm going to get some sleep!

WOOHOOOo...... Seven... years............ zzzzzZZZZZZZ.......... zZZZZzzzzzzzz........
;-)

The Vault's May 2007 Statistics.

May 2007 was the third best month the site has had (it was nearly the second best but missed out by a very slim margin). Here's the Vault's stats from last month:

Unique Visitors: 2,343
Number of Visits: 3,362
Pages: 12,484 (average of 3 pages viewed per visit)
Hits: 10,567
Bandwidth: 1.01 GB used
The most unique visitors that the Vault had on one day was 137 on May 4th.

The Top 5 Countries that have given the Vault the most lovin':
1. The United States
2. The European Union
3. Canada
4. Malaysia
5. Australia

The Top 5 Reviews on the site in May 2007:
1. The Monster Squad (1987)
2. Arena (1989)
3. Alien Predators (1987)
4. The Alligator People (1959)
5. The Dungeonmaster (1985)
Honorable Mention: The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1956) - Three more hits and it would've been in the top five!

Top 5 Search Phrases used to find the Vault on a search engine:
1. marvel zombies
2. arena 1989
3. monster squad movie for sale
4. b-movie torrents
5. g-fan
(I have to note that The Monster Squad, its soundtrack, and various movie quotes from the film seem to make up the bulk of the other search phrases! I'm still amazed at how popular this film, and my review for it, still are!)

Top 5 Keywords used to find the Vault on a search engine:
1. movie
2. the
3. monster
4. squad
5. b

Weirdest Keywords and phrases used to find the Vault on a search engine:
"how to do blast mark paint on stormtrooper armor"
"movie monster balls"
"how to decorate a principal s office"
"diazepam"
"asian sorority fever volume 22 dvd"
"crocodile dundee ii punkrock"
"upskirt"
"diflucan"

These sites sent me traffic?! Well I guess I can return the favor by posting their links here:
http://www.uxxicom.com/
http://favorstar.com/
http://www.mst3k.org/index.php
http://www.lesliehalliwell.com/favourite_reviews/index.html (Leslie linked to my "Alligator People" review! Thanks!)
For some reason, a lot of traffic came from various sites that are either missing from the web now, or are sexually explicit (SweetYoungLolitas.com?!). Craziness!

Well that's the stats my friends! The site seems to be getting a pretty good crowd every month so hopefully this momentum keeps up! Thanks for visiting the Vault and/or sending visitors my way!

G'night b-movie fans!

A wonderful three days off....

Due to a temporary change in my work schedule last week, I ended up having the last three days off in a row! I spent most of my time outdoors (except for last night) and ended up washing and waxing my truck (and cleaning out the inside of it) on Tuesday, Wednesday I tore about the basement and gave it a good all around cleaning, then yesterday I took my truck in for an inspection (it passed with flying colors) and got four new (and larger) tires for it, and changed the oil when I got home! Oh yes, my truck got a LOT of lovin' this week!

Last night I ended up having a movie marathon with my buddy Chris (and later our Star Wars obsessed friend Gary, showed up) and watched "Tranformers: The Movie," "Chapelle's Show: The Lost Episodes," "My Name is Trinity," "Heavy Metal," and finally "Godzilla vs. Gigan." (For the record, my main man Chris used to HATE Godzilla, but lately he's been giving the Big-G a chance and has sort of become a "closeted" Godzilla fan. ;-)

So now that I've had time to get things cleaned up around here, get my finances in order, and just plain ole relax, its back to the grindstone for me. I'm thinking of watching and taking notes on "The Host" tonight after work, and will be working on that review for the remainder of the week. I'm hoping to get it posted in time for the Vault's 7th Anniversary on Wednesday, June 6th! But before I hop into that, I've gotta change things up on the main pages including the Movie of the Month, the top 5 reviews for the month, and other little things like that.

And before I officially get offline for the day here's a little plug for a site called RETRO FLICKS. After hearing good things about them from fellow b-movie scribe Andrew Borntreger, I gave them a shot today and ordered three DVDRs from them, namely: "Supersonic Man," "Monster," and "Mystery on Monster Island." Shipping was cheap, the discs seem to be very professionaly made, and the price on each one is only $11.99. I'll post about the quality of the discs once I've received and watched them. Also, late next week I should be getting my DVDs of "Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster," "Invasion of the Astro-Monster," and "Attack of the Supermonsters" in the mail! I can't wait!

Well that's officially it folks! I'm going to go and find something to do for an hour before I have to get showered up for work! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

OH YEAH! And be sure to check out the June issue of Rogue Cinema! It's the third anniversary issue and once again, I sat this month out. But you know what .... I don't even care. It's nice to write about what I want, when I want, without any deadlines hovering over my head. In any case, head on over and check out the new stuff. These guys work hard to bring you fresh material monthly so please, help support them and the web-mag by visiting and reading all of their awesome articles, interviews, and reviews!